North Korea grants asylum for Snowden

Hackers around the world have been searching for a home for their wayward comrade, Edward Snowden. Finally, it seems, they have settled on North Korea.

Hackers around the world have been searching for a home for their wayward comrade, Edward Snowden. Finally, it seems, they have settled on North Korea.

SEOUL, Republic of Korea – In response to a formal application for asylum on behalf of Edward Snowden, Kim Jong-un issued a statement offering the whistleblower not just asylum, but full North Korean citizenship. Snowden and his entourage, staffed mostly by WikiLeaks employees, were ecstatic at the news of a safe haven after 14 other countries had denied their applications.

“The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea promises to allow Edward Snowden to continue to leak anything he wants. We will provide him with many of the best top-secret hacking tools available in North Korea,” said a representative from the North Korean military.

“We are just so relieved that Snowden has finally found friendly shores,” said Glen Greenwild, the reporter who famously interviewed Edward Snowden in a Hong Kong hotel.

Snowden issued a statement written in Spanish, thanking North Korea for their commitment to freedom.

29 comments to North Korea grants asylum for Snowden

  • sophie souza

    I for ONE am grateful that he FINALLY DID GET Asylum AND can speak up…. I’ve been a Targeted American Individual for nearly 6 years now and am 1/2 dead because of it…. Let Freedom Ring… To ME, Snowden a HERO n NOT A ZERO!

  • Obamasgonnagetyou

    North Korea went on to say:
    Those Americans, wow, I mean sure we spy on all our citizens, deny them rights
    And abuse them, but america? They take it to a whole new level. We are out of their league. We in Korea are envious of their
    Spying technology, war drones, and the ability the put down protests from people not with tanks but
    Just running an episode of the khardashians and offering free donuts.

    Even we in Korea couldn’t stop a plane carrying a head of state with a wave of a finger.

    America as the new king in town of bullying arseholes, we North Korea salute you.

  • sam

    snowden’s response: “No thanks….im okay….”

  • Dred Scott

    People will believe ANYTHING if they see it on a web page. Amazing.

  • Anonymous

    North Korea is as guilty as any, including us. They started this long ago when they took the USS Pueblo.