NSA using Squirrels to pick up wireless signals

The NSA is using 'cyborg' Squirrels to eavesdrop on the Iranian nuclear weapons program.

The NSA is using ‘cyborg’ Squirrels to eavesdrop on the Iranian nuclear weapons program.

INTERNET —  Iranian sources report that small chips implanted in squirrel populations have been found containing data on sensitive nuclear weapons projects. These advanced chips are powered by kinetic energy from the scurrying of the animal. In the presence of other nearby chips, each squirrel forms a node on a “mesh network” which exchanges and processes data according to an advanced algorithm. When one squirrel picks up wireless signals from a target, such as a nuclear weapons facility, this data proliferates through the mesh network until it reaches a hidden satellite transmitter, which relays the information back to the NSA headquarters.

An Anonymous source told the Internet Chronicle, “Practically every squirrel in Iran has been incorporated into this mesh network with the use of automated traps which both capture the squirrels and insert the chips. Thousands of squirrels can be chipped this way with only a few traps . . . Nearly all wireless communications in Iranian areas populated by squirrels are making their way to the NSA headquarters, and we’d be foolish to not assume this isn’t also taking place on American soil . . . [There] is so much distributed potential computing power that significant decryption or data analysis may also take place within the squirrels.”

Iranian authorities have offered a lucrative $100 bounty for each squirrel killed which has been implanted with an NSA chip.

1 comment to NSA using Squirrels to pick up wireless signals

  • See the 1990s DUST.COM sponsored by In-Q-Tel, which designed MOTES — small electronic chips that carried specific functions, typically smaller than a coin. archive.org might have DUST.COM archive, and CIAs IN-Q-TEL has historical notes. MOTES were consumer sized, generally a cm diameter on average, and were designed for airdrop or scatter deployment, their primary use (and derived systems) is police and federal who gain access to a location and shake their pockets or legs to distribute the even smaller 2000s era devices. Similar to RFID transport at simplest, full functioned processing and autonomous weaponization in more advanced devices. CIA IN-Q-TEL DUST, 1990s