INTERNET — Pope Francis went over the heads of the Cardinals by issuing an Encyclical which will assemble a worldwide Ecumenical council including the highest leaders from every faith.
In his statement, Pope Francis said, “God has chosen Buenos Aires as the grounds for the merging of all faiths. The biblical convention welcomes all in the writing of our global seminal holy text. Will it be a concise set of poetic aphorisms, lengthy genealogy, didactic farming advice, or an epic war poem? No! It will be a major media event Tweeted and E-Mailed to every person on earth as five different Reality shows featuring the hottest monks and nuns in humiliating sexual situations compete to invent the world’s next religion. Everyone will be converted if we just blow the Vatican’s treasury on Persona Management propaganda from our friends at HBGary, and the world will have ten million years of peace.”
Atheist speaker Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador condemned this speech, slamming his fists on the podium, “Ain’t that Pope ever read the bible? What he’s intendin on doin’ is building him a big ol’ Tower of Babel, I tell you what. That’s a religion designed to come a tumblin’ down, but he’s mad with power. Them Marxists slipped one through to United States president and now they done it in Rome, by gum.”