Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Dead at 59

Ron Jeremy was revered for his generosity.

Ron Jeremy was revered for his generosity.

LOS ANGELES — Fans mourn the loss of porn star Ron Jeremy, whose remarkable cock exploded tragically during the opportunistic shooting of an unauthorized “onsite” pornographic film at Cedars-Sinai hospital. Jeremy was hospitalized after suffering a near-fatal heart aneurysm.

Mike Sesterman, Ron Jeremy’s agent, said Wednesday Jeremy died as he lived: “Jeremy died while performing multiple simultaneous sex acts on a swathe of gorgeous, beautiful women for a mockumentary in his hospital bed. He loved all the support of his friends and fans and swore he would forever fuck life in the ass, until the day that he died.”

Jeremy’s cock partially exploded while buried in the rectum of a young Hollywood nurse, who asked not to be named for fear of losing her job at Cedars-Sinai. Blood squirted from the tip of his penis as it split like a flower down the middle.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, urologist, stated, “I have never seen such a large cock in my entire life. Porn Stars like Ron often abuse cock-enhancing medication which can lead to heart aneurysms and sudden cock explosion. Common sources of these drugs are internet e-mail spammers, who often cut their products with dangerous stimulants to provide short-term penis length gains.”

Mike Sesterman is responsible for dispersion of the Jeremy estate. The estate, he said, is to be divided among Jeremy’s family and cock-growth medication hucksters to whom he owes various debts and apologies.

24 comments to Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Dead at 59

  • Anonymous

    This is false for one simple reason: he was born on March 12, 1953, therefore he would have been 60 years and 8 days of age at the time this article was written, not 59.

  • DJohnson

    THIS IS A TOTAL LIE!! I WORK AT THE AIRPORT IN ATLANTA GA AND I JUST SAW HIM MAYBE 2 WEEKS AGO COMING THROUGH SECURITY! WE WERE PRACTICALLY FACE TO FACE..HE IS VERY MUCH ALIVE UNLESS HE DIED IN THE PAST 2/3 WEEKS..DEFINATELY NOT BACK IN MARCH!!

  • This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. I thought him and his penis were still alive ?? He does sell them awesome penis enlargement pills, I wonder if they think that’s what killed him, lol lol

  • jack bean

    i dont see is whats so special about this guy. im sixteen and he is hardly bigger than me. not even an inch bigger.i could understand if it was Jonah falcon.

  • he is not dead. i had sex with him the other day. he says im his favorite porn doll. comment on my page and ill show u everything.