INTERNET — A new dating web site called Sex Road, created by sexual market theorists known as Red Pillers, hit the Internet Friday. The Sex Road saw thousands of signups in the first hour.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, Sex Road’s designer and mastermind, told reporters, “How Sex Road works is guided by our knowledge of the way most women work. We’ve implemented a democratic ranking system which ranges males from Alphas to Gammas and women from one to ten. We took into account the overriding factor that women are hypergamous, or slutty, and so we’ve implemented algorithms which will tag women who use the site too much. The web site will also attempt to identify the rare high-value women who aren’t Solipsists, but this requires a rigorous and invasive NSA-like surveillance of all Sex Road traffic by Alpha theorists.” Beaming, Dr. Troubador drew a circle in the air in front of him, “Ideally, all this will allow Alphas to track down the super rare ‘non-sluts’ who are also high-value. Also, young Betas will be able to benefit from Sex Road by finding appropriately lower-value women to improve their ‘game’ and have easy sex with while they bulk up and work towards Alpha status.”
Angered Feminists protested the web site, but some, such as outspoken Red Pill inter-theorist Dr. Cecilia Darwin, took a more moderate stance, “Sex Road is already a hotbed of hateful and vicious ‘trolling’ directed at so-called Gammas and low-value women. I believe the Red Pill Theorists have reified the ‘architecture’ of the Reddit forum they use for their discourse within their theory, promoting ideas as ‘Real’ or true, simply because of upvotes. Of course this has produced an especially potent melange of obvious capitalist ideologies represented in the ‘sex market’.” Dr. Darwin explained the theory in her own words, ”All history has been a mere function of the sex market, where a woman is reduced to a number on a scale of one to ten, children are deducted from her value, and at a certain age called ‘the wall’, her value tumbles to nothing. In exchange for grunting (it doesn’t matter what a man says, but he is told to speak loudly and project confidence in an impressive two minute monologue when he introduces himself) and the hard-won muscles of an Alpha, men should be able to get an 8 – 10 woman with no problem.” Dr. Darwin shed a genuine tear of sadness, and some saw an aura of love glowing around her beautiful 10 body, “Obviously these men and women are having terrible problems relating to people, and Sex Road keeps them out of other dating web sites where people hopefully don’t look at each other as commodities. So in a way I’m for the Sex Road, and I think even many of the Alphas on that site agree with me that this trolling is not useful for anyone’s ‘game’. Game. That’s their word for love.”