Snowden documents expose Bitcoin NSA plot

Explosive new documents, originally obtained by NSA leaker Edward Snowden and seen by The Internet Chronicle, reveal how the NSA conspired to create the popular Bitcoin “cyrptocurrency”. NSA’s immediate aim was to track cyber terrorists and other criminals, but also to undermine the very concept of a decentralized, anonymous electronic currency, and by extension, the ideals of technolibertarianism and cyberanarchism.

Powerpoint slides provided to The Internet Chronicle detail the NSA’s concerns about the promise of so-called cryptocurrency. NSA mathematicians devised the initial proposal for Bitcoin in concert with Satoshi Nakamoto, a defence and intelligence contractor who would act as the new currency’s public front-man. The slides go so far as to speculate that even if Nakamoto’s intel ties were exposed, a gullible public would presume he had simply “gone rogue” due to sincerely held political beliefs.

In a bizarre twist, The Chronicle’s source (who has asked to remain anonymous) claims that journalists at First Look Media, the current owner of the Snowden leak stockpile, are under instruction not to report on the Bitcoin plot. The source refused to elaborate.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, the Chronicle’s resident Intelligence & Cyberculture expert, believes First Look’s silence is under direct instruction from its owner, Pierre Omidyar, himself. “Omidyar, ironically, is a natural ally of NSA in the Bitcoin conspiracy, due to his financial interest in PayPal. He would no doubt love to see cryptocurrency wither on the cyber-vine, so to speak. Ebay is also an important partner to federal agencies, both law enforcement and intelligence. It’s easy to see why he would be so keen to invest a quarter of a billion dollars to gain control of the Snowden material, and the few bloggers naively doing their best to report on it.”

Omidyar Network and First Look Media were not available for comment.

3 comments to Snowden documents expose Bitcoin NSA plot

  • faustus

    @hah, hah indeed. to summarise: edward snowden, who has to date has essentially only dealt with glen greenwald, barton gellman and laura poitras decides to leak the latest scoop to a shitty website that looks like it was slapped together by a schizotypal ogre who lives in his parent’s basement. go back to what you do best: deciphering the secret messages that you keep seeing in the crossword and on the back of the cereal box.

  • dang

    dang. this is messed up. pretty crazy. dang

  • hah

    Haha, what a lame attempt at FUD
    Keep trying

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