“th3j35t3r’s” 50 pages of butthurt

In what may go down as the 50 most butthurt pages ever written in the history of humanity, “Rintendo64″ and “bRatty” a/k/a “Kelly Hennessey” a/k/a “Butchiest” tell several blatant lies and spew schoolyard-level insults, only to top the monstrosity off with a conclusion that will blow your minds! This is all to deny a body of evidence amassed by Jen Emick, famed Social Engineer and FBI Consultant behind the unmasking of Sabu. This unreadable tract, grandiosely titled “The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences,” provides alternate evidence and insults to prove that Jennifer Emick’s research is either falsified or invalid due to Emick’s status as a fatty witch boo boo head. It immediately faceplants with a lie too stupid to believe.

…Emick stated that she was an “FBI Consultant” and would say she was “unable to comment” on numerous items as it “may impede an ongoing law enforcement” investigation. For the record, Emick is not an FBI Consultant/Contractor & her application to be a snitch was denied due to her inability to get any valid credible ACCURATE information.

Now that’s a very interesting theory, but major media outlets all agree: Jennifer Emick worked with the FBI to take down Sabu. It’s kind of a pointless lie that doesn’t actually prove anything. Anyway, my application to be a snitch was denied as well because I have never provided valid credible accurate information. You can ask the FBI, that’s exactly what they said, verbatim. But we’re wading into one hell of a gene pool, here, folks. It smells something awful.

Render64 was also the one that informed Kelly that the nic “FakeGreggHoush” was not the real Gregg Housh/wizy, but was in fact, a parody nic created by Emick meant to inflame the real Gregg Housh. (Harassment much?)  In fact, it wasn’t until the members of Anonymous doxed FakeGreggHoush as Emick at some point in early 2011 that ANYONE except for Hubris, the other 2 partners in BacktraceSecurity, plus Gregg Housh, & Welna knew that it was NOT Gregg Housh.

FakeGreggHoush is a funny parody account. Kelly, it says it’s fake. If you can’t tell parody from reality, you’ve got a serious problem. News flash, Kelly. JenniferEmick.com isn’t real. The stupid’s just beginning, folks!

That Amok err Emick, her partner Welna, and ShadowDXS happen to be pathologically intent on exposing the Jester in any way possible, whether rightly or wrongly, was irrelevant to our side of that conversation, then or now.

Emick’s successful work revealing high profile hackers is a pathology, but that’s irrelevant. You know pathology means disease, right? I get the impression it’s more of a really functional, satisfying, and productive part of Emick’s life. You know she does talks at conventions and stuff, right? Do you guys? I’m no psychoanalyst or whatever, but this sounds like a projection. “The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences” is so dense with that stuff, you’ll just have to subject yourself to it because if I post it here, the sympathetic embarrassment will be too much to handle. There’s all sorts of other stupid bullshit I could find in these 50 pages of butthurt, but it’s all despicable behavior denied with despicable words. The entire superstructure of this narrative is basically shot within the first paragraph, so we’ll skip to the spectacular ending, a dizzying finale that will surely bring many standing ovations for “th3j35t3r’s” final act!

Or maybe Emick should show her version, complete with her repeated absurd insistence that Render is the Jester. That 17 pages of pointless drivel really could have used an editor, and a second, and a third slightly more stable opinion before it was released. Perhaps by someone who is not abusing drugs or suffering mental illness.

Now would be a very good time for Emick and Welna to take their permanently and self-damaged reputations out of the infosec communities. Before they really do get somebody hurt. They’re not even qualified to work for Gregory Evans or Joe Black.

Here’s a pro-tip for the Scooby Crew, lay off the Scooby Snax. They make your asses wider and trust us; you two are both asinine enough as it is without additional help.

NO
HATS,
B-n-R

PS: Cease and desist your harassment of us, our families, and our friends. This is your formal notice.

Protip: Don’t criticize the length of 17 pages of solid evidence with 50 pages of insults and accusations. Don’t be a grammar nazi if you can’t even get you’re grammar straight.  Also, I am honored that you saved the most cutting insult I’ve ever delivered to th3j35t3r for the end, ya Gregory Evans joke thieves! Did I set up shop in your head, Jestees?  Oh, and two more Protips. If you’re trying to defend your own status as “squeaky clean” “hackers,” you might not want to sign something like this with “NO HATS.” 50 pages of insults and lies topped off with clever ass wordplay isn’t the best place to put a formal notice requesting the end to “harassment.”

PS: We will sue th3j35t3r for attacking our web servers. This is “your” formal notice.

36 comments to “th3j35t3r’s” 50 pages of butthurt

  • BEEFRAVE

    weRAETSJRDT

    • spookerism

      Who let you out of your cage… *slams the door shut, licks it, throws the key away

      • spookerism

        lawlz, and not laughing b/c funny #gross *locks it…ewwww, sterilize my tongue, no, no, amputate it, ‘it’ haz that flesh eating disease now…

        • BEEFRAVE

          yer pussy hole stinks like pure shit. no wonder you spend yer days here. ya fuckin skizzskagg. aka cunt. :) there are no cages here slut. only cocks for you to suck. stfu sandwich maker.men are here.

          • Anonymous

            Your wife aaron brings a whole new definition to the term #failWHALE. Passes you a pound of flour to find her wet spot and the tuck tape her for rollls of fat & for your mouth too. Sorry I do not suck on ‘chicken’ bones. Hey it’s the end of the month aaron, time for your disability check to arrive.
            #UNemployed4life

            • SHITRAVE

              hey #anotherspooksock lol. i have the tiniest dick in the world! it’s covered in genital warts cuz i way too stupid to wear a condom.

              • bobandus

                hey shitrave, I really fear for the object-relations you must have in your life.seek help. you really don’t want to end up where it appears you’re heading. the world isn’t the scarey place you think it is. find help,before it is too late.

              • Sp00k

                Nah I was just too high write my username in…fishfag xD

          • WhoreMaster

            #THEGAME

          • Rachel Pawlowski

            ALL OF YOU STOP PICKING ON MY HUSBAND, IT’S NOT HIS FAULT HE WAS BORN THIS WAY! IT’S NOT HIS FAULT HE WAS TOO STUPID AND POOR AND DIDN’t USE A CONDOM WHILE HE WAS BEING PIMPED BY SOME BIG NIGGER ON THE STREETS OF NYC OR WAS THAT CHICAGO, SO MANY LIES. YESSSS HE HAS WARTS AND WE NOW UNHAPPILY SHARE THEM IN WEDDED LULZ. I NOW TOO HAVE GENTIAL WARTS IN THE FOLDS MY FAT TO KEEP MY HUSBAND TACO SNACKS COMPANY TILL THE NEXT ROUND OF OUR BINGING. PS-I LOVE IT WHEN MY MAN AARON USES HIS SPLIT TONGUE ON MY CALIFLOWERED ASSHOLE FROM ALL HIS WARTS OF LOVE.

      • Kilgoar

        you play nice, thiessen, and we let you in our sandbox.

        • My dad is going to do a radio show and tinychat at same time about your site and your failed radio show when he gets home. he wants me to ask you to call in. he said he well not censor you like you do to him or people that say things you dont like.

          I do not play nice like my dad does your luckey he is a nice guy I can tell you that.

          I dont think anyone loves you

          JT

        • geo

          hi, geo here. uhm, why the fuck do you people hate each other so much?
          at the start it seemed like all fun n games, but wtf happened. it’s the internet. there’s no reason for you to act the way you do.
          you’re all wrapped up in a pissing contest and you’re starting to mix streams. i mean seriously, what is 500 characters of insults gonna do? and what makes you think it’s in any way justifiable?

          you all like the same things, know the same people. so why can’t you find some common ground and be comrades instead of flinging poo at each other on the daily like a pack of wild… well you get it.

          then again if that’s what you want to do with your time on this earth, that’s up to you. for my taste there are better ways to waste said time.

      • SwimFan

        Shut Col. Klink, I mean pedobear…

        *Searches for a can of gasoline & matches

    • WhoreMaster

      Nick: beefrave
      Name: Aaron S Pawlowski
      Tele: (315) 487-4872
      Addy: 203 Pine Hill Rd Syracuse, NY 13209-1747 (lives with mom and dad, lol)
      Education (or lack thereof): Paul V Moore High School (class of 2002)
      Age: 28, born in 1984
      Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/cigarsex (lol @ fake name)

      Wife:
      Rachel L Pawlowski
      http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=769703858

      Mom:
      Susan C Pawlowski
      http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1835026307

      Dad:
      Edward D Pawlowski

    • WhoreMaster

      Oh I forgot to mention beefrave has the maiden name of Aaron Scott Worley, see like huge alcoholic asspie faggot that he is, he took the hambeast, his wife Rachel’s last name, Pawlowski.

  • I am John Thiessen and I like preteen girls.

  • geo

    i don’t get it but gosh it’s funny

  • SwimFan

    Home run Billy, errr, sorry Frank….

    So FISHFAG once again you have given those in/on cyberspace/twitter/irc a good olde fashion spanking (aka- given them biz, chronicle.su style) who so richly deserve and earned it with all their derpy ‘prosec’ faggotry.

  • th3judg3

    Right about now, chronicle.su court is in full effect
    th3judg3 is presiding
    In the case of chronicle.su vs. th3j35t3r
    Prosecuting attorneys are Witchy Jen, Willy Sang, and Kilgoar-T

    [th3judg3 as The Judge]
    Order, order, order
    Witchy Jen, take the motherfucking stand
    Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth
    And nothing but the truth so help your witchy ass?

    [Witchy Jen as Witness]
    You goddamn right!

    [th3judg3]
    Well won’t you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?

    [Witchy Jen]
    50 pages and not once were my jimmies rustled.