This one’s on me, Roajoke.

Now, I don’t normally do this. Hell, I never do this. But if anyone’s got the right make fun of Roanoke, it’s either a current or former citizen. NOT some wackjob from Tucson, Arizona! They can’t even spell Tooson right.
Lost? You should be. Here’s the deal. Dolla Billz came across this lovely article, describing the journalistic abilities (or lack thereof) of one Jennifer Waddell, a former reporter in Roanoke. Oh, did I mention that she’s smokin hot on TV and even hotter in person? Hell, in journalism that’s like 85% of the job. Now, this article, posted by some crazed, no-life at a gay people community in Arizona, bashes Ms. Waddell for being biased and prejudice because of blah blah blah. What struck my rage vein was this quote:

“Perhaps that kind of biased and prejudicial reporting worked in Ms. Waddell’s native Roanoke, Virginia, but I hope she has learned that in Tucson it is not acceptable.”

Nah dude, I think not. Not while there is a Ronald W. Nitro on this planet will this shit fly. No one from Arizona is going to bash Roanoke nor (more importantly) Roanoke goddess, Jennifer Waddell like that. He should be thanking Heaven that she even moved out there. But that’s not my point. Point is good ol’ Kent Burbank, for mentioned douche, got a nice ragemail from me. “Will ya post it?” Pleeeeeeease. Who do you think I am? Dick Cheney?

This is in response to your lovely, childish post, “Wingspan Responds to Jennifer Waddell’s Sensationalistic Journalism.”
First of all, you need a hobby or something if a simple news story causes this type of child-like behavior, I.E. you calling for everyone to email, call, and bother her at any expense to complain. Get a life, dude.
Secondly, I’m not one hundred percent in love with the tone of this statement:
“Perhaps that kind of biased and prejudicial reporting worked in Ms. Waddell’s native Roanoke, Virginia, but I hope she has learned that in Tucson it is not acceptable. We hold our journalists to higher ethical and journalist standards.” – Yourself.
What’re you implying sir? What did Roanoke do to you? Did I miss something or is Roanoke the biased and prejudice capital of America? Do you recognize your contradiction here? You post a full article criticizing Ms. Waddell’s “prejudice” and then you lower yourself to the same level by assuming that Roanoke is a Mecca to prejudice values simply because Jennifer Waddell used to be a reporter there. Shame on you, Kent. If there was “Wingspan” type community for the citizens of Roanoke, you’d be on their list, pal! Why don’t you give me YOUR personal cell phone number so I can call and harass you for being prejudice? How’s that sound?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, you hypocrite. Just because there’s no cacti in VA doesn’t mean you have to jump to conclusions. And by the way, just for your information, I’ve met Jennifer Waddell in person when I was living in Roanoke, and she’s so beautiful that she could turn any gay guy straight. Maybe next time, open your eyes, close your ears, and please, for the internet’s sake, turn off your computer. For good. That’s all… for now.

You’re welcome.
Ronny Nitro
More on this story as it develops. Hopefully.

10 comments to This one’s on me, Roajoke.

  • Geo

    rofl, point taken. i made my assumptions from the info you gave me, clearly that was a mistake, i should know better

  • Geo

    was there ever a response?

    • You’ve just stumbled upon an article written by our glorious founder, Ronny Wayne Nitro. I don’t know if he ever received a response to this letter, but I’m pretty sure he was high when he wrote it.

      Beyond that, I can’t really say for sure. He founded this website and just sort of – disappeared one day into the wild blue yonder of pills, alcoholism and a girlfriend addiction.

      • Geo

        thats pretty fucking sad. do you know him in real life?

        • Shadownigger Shrubfucker

          Actually, Ronny Nitro has achieved a kind of internet fame doing advertisements for thinkgeek.

          • Geo

            ok? i’m just sorta curious as to how you became writers on the site. i assumed you all went to school together and were best friends because of your “cynical” realistic view of reality… you know, some real romantic, made for the movies type shit. surely a visionary capable of elfwax wouldn’t just abondon ship one day, however such a visionary could easily lose himself in the tight grip of pills and boooze.

            • Rupert Murdoch

              Nah, shadownigger spoke it right. Ronny’s just got his own pullies and levers to work over there in the fantasy world he calls real life and paychecks. Yeah, I bet he cashes them at a “bank” too! Every time I talk to him, he says he wants to write again. Obviously we’re all best friends.

              • Geo

                i’m sad now. a lot of people need change. but when people who realize how fucked the system is decide to plug into it anyway, it makes me sick.

                • You got it backwards. You’re talking about Ronny Wayne Fucking Nitro, of Nitrocious Productions. He IS the man. Bitches who want to sell out come to him with their dicks betwixt their legs, forming manginas for Wayne’s amusement.

      • Ronny Nitro

        just wanna clear a few things up; the Nitrocity himself was high AND drunk when he wrote this gem of an article. later noobwads.