Topiary pleads guilty to satisfy the butthurt bloodlust of a wretched justice system

This is a horse

Topiary (Jake Davis) plead guilty to excellent charges of heroism, including an attack on the Serious Organized Crime Agency (SOCA).

SOCA is an unjust, contradictory agency established by the Illuminati to attack internet security through freedom reduction.

Dr. Liebehart Schwartz of the Cannibiological Institute of Human Progress called Topiary a “hero” and “a freedom fighter,” for fighting against authority with not just technical prowess, but his words, too. “Because of toxic organizations like SOCA and the NSA, people are less safe on the internet now than they were in the year 2000.

With Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.

“Any blind nigger can exploit a security vulnerability left over from Web 2.0.” said Schwartz, “But with Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.”

Asperger’s enthusiast Ryan Cleary also pled guilty to various charges, none of which included being a snitch.

Eat your cheese, rat.

Topiary enjoys a large support base including #FreeTopiary on Twitter, young intellectuals, and the mighty thundercock of justice and hate better known by you as the chronicle.su.

Topiary and his lesser counterparts will stand trial April 2013. If convicted, Topiary faces prison time. Make no bones about it, he will be handed a prison sentence, which should make for a more interesting year for everyone who has watched the LulzSec case from beginning to end, after the Beast of Greed and Delusions rears its ugly head once again.

This message was brought to you by Norton Internet Security. Are you scared yet?

21 comments to Topiary pleads guilty to satisfy the butthurt bloodlust of a wretched justice system

  • here I em again and i could rape a frog lol

    not sure what that means but it is frunny

    so I see i rape what three people a day at most. your blog radio was a frop lol

    i should go get a job and get out and find a women. a lot better then my circle jerks i have on friday nights lol

    beef reave lol

    ric veda loves you

    john thiessen

    • We don’t wish to block you – or beefrave. In fact, I even reinstated his account here; I just have no way of telling him.

      So why don’t you make yourself useful, John, and pass along a message from myself to beefrave:

      I’m sorry I kicked you off the site, beefrave. I want no hard feelings. You’re welcome back if you want. You’re welcome even if you don’t want. Take care of yourself.

      That goes for you, too, John.

      Peace.

      • Kilgoar

        Thiessen, you’re NOT welcome to post a ton of spam. You’re NOT welcome to ANNOY me. I AM NOT going to sit around and take your shitty power-tripping attitude. This goes DOUBLY for Beefrave, but like the good people we are, he can have a second chance, if he wants it, because he wasn’t already granted a second chance after years in prison for cocaine deal mouth rape. You, Thiessen, have no such luxury. Consider this your warning: If you write something I don’t like, or that I think would be funny to edit or delete, I will do it because YOU ASKED FOR IT. YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

  • spookerism

    #FREEWEEVE
    #FREETOPIARY
    #FREEBRAD
    #FUCKsABU
    #KEEPassange (me no want)

  • John thiessen again. Give me that cocaine back, mommy. Please?

  • Please fucking ban me, I’m trying so fucking hard.

  • My name is John Thiessen. I am insanely jealous. I am unfunny. I think I am important. That’s why I hang with beefrave.