Let’s Glorify Hatesec’s Juche-based Idea of Site Building and Satire for All Ages!

hatesec

WE SIGNIFICANTLY COMMEMORATE THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE GREAT LEADER RALEIGH THEODORE HATESEC’S START OF WORK AT THE INTERNET CHRONICLE (CHRONICLE.SU) TODAY WHEN ITS DIGNITY AND AUTHORITY, DURABILITY AND INVINCIBILITY ARE BEING DEMONSTRATED ALL OVER THE WORLD AND THE ENTIRE PEOPLE AND ARMY ARE REPLETE WITH THE WILL TO . . .

Stoned Phish Fan Finds Rapper DMX’s Drivers License, Posts on Forum, Becomes “OP”

DMXhouse

Photo of DMX’s “poverty house”

INTERNET — Thursday evening, an arguably blazed fan of dad-rock band Phish, found and posted the drivers license of hardcore rapper DMX(Earl Simmons) to Internet forum Phantasy Tour, claiming his place as “OP” of an “epic thread.” In OP’s first post, he explains how DMX was always . . .

False hashtag campaigns aim to diminish feminists

Most 4chan hoaxes are not very successful because they are balanced too far towards "truthfulness" and don't contain enough bunk to strike the balance which can create that peculiar perplexity.

Most 4chan hoaxes are not very successful because they are balanced too far towards “truthfulness” and don’t contain enough bunk to strike the balance which can create that peculiar perplexity.

INTERNET — 4channers have recently astroturfed several false hashtag campaigns targeting feminists — campaigns which stand in stark contrast with 4chan’s usual targets . . .

Fuck Your Desert, Brown People Are Sub-Human Animals Who Feel Nothing, And The Middle East Is My Political Toy

Cool Obama

We let Iraq go because it was no longer profitable to keep it. What good is a broken nation without oil? We need a power player, Iraq. . . .

Snark-centered art movement swallows internet

Macaulay Culkin's Pizza Underground shocks desensitized internet masses.

Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza Underground shocks desensitized internet masses.

For a piece of art to be popular on the internet today, a spark of novelty injected into the hopelessly derivative and easily recognizable is a prerequisite. The recursive “meta” wink and nudge, an unusual (especially ephemeral) medium, or a clever pun playing on the . . .

Why hasn’t Edward Snowden said anything about 9/11?

Edward Snowden hasn't revealed anything at all about 9/11 inside job

Edward Snowden hasn’t revealed anything at all about 9/11 inside job

INTERNET — It’s been said time and time again that 9/11 inside job is the grandaddy of all conspiracy theories, although that term’s marginal flavor hardly applies when the majority of the world believes in it. If one is to assume that . . .

Military weather prediction program reaches deep into the past

New weather hypermodeling gives meteorologists in the military unbelievable predictive capabilities

New weather hypermodeling gives meteorologists in the military unbelievable predictive capabilities

INTERNET — A team of meteorologists at DARPA have announced a “near solution” to weather prediction so complex that it not only takes into account the gravitational pull of planets in our solar system but also of nearby stars. These systems are . . .

Molly Crabapple Feeds The Trolls

Molly Crabapple's latest painting, OpPornPixie

Molly Crabapple’s latest painting, OpPornPixie

INTERENT — Molly Crabapple, artist and blogger known for her commentary about how the world’s messed up, tweeted Friday about her latest painting entitled OpPornPixie. At the center of the operation is a highly stylized and glamorous self-portrait overlaid with a bloodspatter of the kind of abusive comments . . .

Pro-life scientist clones thousands of “aborted” babies

Babies that were once aborted are getting a second chance, thanks to breakthroughs in robotics and industrialized human cloning.

WISCONSIN — Scientist, Polymath, and newly recognized Saint of the Divinity Megachurch Consortium Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador proudly announced, “Thanks be to the grace of God and the miracles of modern science, that today . . .

New OsamaCoin cryptocurrency overtakes Bitcoin

The OsamaCoin is the world’s fastest growing cryptocurrency designed for financing terror operations.

INERNET — The New OsamaCoin cryptocurrency, a digital commodity much like bitcoin, has reached a total market value of $10 trillion overnight as investors in Dubai learned of its existence through a viral buzzfeed blog post entitled OsamaCoins, the . . .