Lebal Drocer, Inc. Purchases Human Being

RICHMOND, VA. — “We just seen the opportunity, and I couldn’t pass it up. I had to own a slave,” said Internet Chronicle Publisher Frank Mason, speaking to clerical staff and press called to a conference at 1000 Monument Ave. With Jeff Schapiro from the Times-Dispatch busily taking notes, Mr. Mason continued, lamenting that he . . .

Schools are the reason for school shootings

What’s causing all these school shootings? Guns? Not enough guns? The News Media and easy infamy? Violent video games? Violent movies? Lack of mental health care? Lack of religion, culture, and community?

Nope.

The reason for the school shooting epidemic should be obvious:

The schools. 

They’re prisons.

Remember finding yourself all of the sudden in . . .

IT’S AN ARMS RACE

BAD INTERNET — THE EYE IS ON YOU —

@ @ @ MAY YOUR SOULS BE CLEANSED IN THE GREAT LIGHT OF LORD INGLIP @ @ @

We don’t talk about Inglip anymore. We don’t want outsiders hearing about the new promise of post-post-humanity.

“Back when we used to tell people about going beyond immortality, . . .

Snooki Death Hoax causes mass panic in guidos and guidettes everywhere

[View the story "Fuck Yes" on Storify]

“Serious Discourse on the Internet”

[View the story "Serious Discourse on the Internet" on Storify]

Pokemon– MetaOracle ‘Deconstructed’

If this triggers a flood of memories and emotions, Pokemon may be a perfect oracle for you.

As man has now known for decades, the meaning of an oracle does not in fact derive from God, who may or may not exist, but rather from the act of interpretation. Pokemon, when used properly, . . .

CONGRATULATORY LETTER FROM ESTEEMED LEBAL DROCER EDUCATIONAL NERVE CENTER

INGLIP TRANSHUMANIST MOVEMENT HAILS AURORA, COLO. MURDER OF DOZEN OR MORE VIOLENCE ENTHUSIASTS . . .

Readers Vow to Be Faithful to Leadership of Raghubir Goyal

CHRONICLE.SU – THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AS RAGHUBIR GOYAL ASSUMES TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU – PRAISE INGLIP! . . .

Lebal Drocer purchases Your Anon Incorporated, Jesus is risen

Do you seriously believe everything you read? Do I have to connect the dots for you? How many times can the same plot-device be effective? Well, I even had me fooled for a while there.

Our parent company purchased Your Anon Incorporated, and the Internet Chronicle is now the throbbing heart . . .

Kopimism: Theology or Theocracy?

The Church of Kopimism is now a state-recognized religion in Sweden, but is it grounded in spirituality and philosophy, or is it nothing more than a self-serving excuse for activity which is currently illegal? The following text was originally taken from the First United Church of Kopimism, US and has been commented in . . .