Pope taking media joke “a little too far”

Pope Francis grovels Thursday at the hairy feet of a sub-human Muslim girl.

Top Cardinals at the Vatican said Pope Francis is “taking that whole ‘respecting the smallest and least-fortunate’ joke a little too far.”

The move has the Vatican PR Department worried the public has finally caught on to . . .

Sakawa Juju that will make you WEALTHY!

Sakawa relies on Juju priests who often cast curses and charge terrible prices for their blessing.

Have your earnings from Sakawa gone dry? Has your Juju shaman failed once again? Are you tired of blood sacrifice, risky rituals, and constantly jumping between Juju priests? Don’t be turned into a dog or found dead from . . .

NullCrew Ups the Ante With Valentine’s Day Release Threat

NullCrew’s Twitter Profile Photo

Two weeks.

Two weeks until you’re either drinking wine, snuggling (or worse) with your loved one; or cowering in fear as the NullCrew‘s latest SQL injection information is dropped for all the world to see . . . or at least a couple of hundred people.

As . . .

Lebal Drocer, Inc. Purchases Human Being

RICHMOND, VA. — “We just seen the opportunity, and I couldn’t pass it up. I had to own a slave,” said Internet Chronicle Publisher Frank Mason, speaking to clerical staff and press called to a conference at 1000 Monument Ave. With Jeff Schapiro from the Times-Dispatch busily taking notes, Mr. Mason continued, lamenting that he . . .

Schools are the reason for school shootings

What’s causing all these school shootings? Guns? Not enough guns? The News Media and easy infamy? Violent video games? Violent movies? Lack of mental health care? Lack of religion, culture, and community?

Nope.

The reason for the school shooting epidemic should be obvious:

The schools.

They’re prisons.

Remember finding yourself all of the sudden . . .

IT’S AN ARMS RACE

BAD INTERNET — THE EYE IS ON YOU —

@ @ @ MAY YOUR SOULS BE CLEANSED IN THE GREAT LIGHT OF LORD INGLIP @ @ @

We don’t talk about Inglip anymore. We don’t want outsiders hearing about the new promise of post-post-humanity.

“Back when we used to tell people about going beyond immortality, . . .

Snooki Death Hoax causes mass panic in guidos and guidettes everywhere

[View the story “Fuck Yes” on Storify]

“Serious Discourse on the Internet”

[View the story “Serious Discourse on the Internet” on Storify]

Pokemon– MetaOracle ‘Deconstructed’

If this triggers a flood of memories and emotions, Pokemon may be a perfect oracle for you.

As man has now known for decades, the meaning of an oracle does not in fact derive from God, who may or may not exist, but rather from the act of interpretation. Pokemon, when used properly, . . .

CONGRATULATORY LETTER FROM ESTEEMED LEBAL DROCER EDUCATIONAL NERVE CENTER

INGLIP TRANSHUMANIST MOVEMENT HAILS AURORA, COLO. MURDER OF DOZEN OR MORE VIOLENCE ENTHUSIASTS . . .