VATICAN — Minister of hate Pope Benedict 111th ruled out the possibility of life after his reign, as prophecied by Malachy the dissident Catholic, whose insidious doctrine turned more than 800 million people against their faith, and toward Communism. Eastern Mythologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour attributes the collapse of known civilization to Malachy’s Prophecy, a . . .
Old Brutus describes Soda Shaq as “a nutritious, all natural health soda offered exclusively by white-owned 7-Eleven stores.” . . .
Do you think that the possibility the NSA could spy on a few hundred AnonOps “members” of Anonymous is crazier than William Blake? Buy Barrett “Che” Brown t-shirts and support a hero today.
INTERNET — Behind the thin veneer of Barrett Brown, the heroic poster boy from Anonymous who is facing a . . .
American Emily Jessup, 23, said a broken nation of war can be a good thing. It can even be fun, she said. . . .
Elena Gendsworth is single and looking for a man who will not expect sex too soon.
INTERNET — “I’m not looking for sex,” said Elena Gendsworth, 25. “And I’ve been cheated on before, so don’t message me unless you’re an honest person. Just so you know, I want to be friends first . . .
Fans who are still waiting for their YAN merchandise are excited to own a new crypto-currency dedicated to YAN mugs and t-shirts.
WASHINGTON — Thursday morning, in a move sure to stun masked Anonymous teens everywhere, YourAnonNews announced that its invisible controllers have created their very own cryptocurrency. On Feruary 1, 2014, . . .
Joe Rogan died from a DMT overdose on Sunday morning.
INTERNET — Joe Rogan, host of the Joe Rogan Experience podcast, accomplished mixed martial artist and comedian, died tragically from a DMT overdose on Sunday.
Rogan was an outspoken advocate for the use of psychedelic drugs as entheogens, or substances which are . . .
LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular smartphone application “Snapchat” came under siege last week due to a decimating security breach, which allowed Internet hackers to enumerate 4.6 million user names and their corresponding phone numbers, before being halted by the servers API rate limit. Just as the snappy startup fixed its security faults, . . .
Pastor Freida Phelps said, “There’s nothing in the bible against dryhumping, and as far as I can tell, sex with a condom is just dryhumping with penetration. In God’s eyes, that ain’t even sex.” . . .
Handmade American weed costs four times as much as illegal foreign imports.
DENVER – Marijuana shops opened up across Colorado Wednesday as legalization came into full effect. However, gangs of armed thugs – possibly aligned with Colorado drug cartels – raided the new repositories, stealing billions of dollars’ worth of weed and . . .