WAL * MART — Communist elements The great Senator Joe McCarthy once purged from American Society have resurfaced at the helm of the world’s largest Capitalist institution, Wal Mart. Wal Mart now offers its employees healthcare plans, locking these people into an anti-Libertarian nightmare fueled by Ayn Rand’s Objectivism turned inside out. How could they . . .
Whistleblow Auto V gives players realtime access to actual top-tier government agencies using Antisocial Club. . . .
Britney Spears dies before Work Bitch Goes Quadruple Platinum
McComb, MISSIPPI — After Britney Spears seemingly failed in her latest Europop-style comeback single Work Bitch, the singer died from complications resulting from Dibetus. Spears reportedly went on a dangerous eating binge which triggered the diabetic attack. Work Bitch has since skyrocketed on . . .
Joey’s World Tour Super Cool Feud Reviews is not for everyone. Boxes may contain trinkets and effeminate voices. Keep out of reach of children. Do not look directly at the food review. . . .
A former girlfriend reveals Tommy Wiseau’s former job as an Al-Qaeda drug runner.
HOLLYWOOD — Tommy Wiseau, director of acclaimed movie The Room, was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound after his former girlfriend came forward with her account of the real life events which inspired The Room. Jolene McKinsey, Wiseau’s . . .
Justin Bieber Mechateen Transformation Terrorizes Neighborhood, President Clinton
“Fuck Bill Clinton.” ~ Justin Bieber
The hooded figure’s glance darted fearfully from behind mirrored shades, as if the white picket fences contained some menacing invisible hell hounds. The heat and humidity of Arkansas’ summer was oppressive, and under his heavy hoodie Justin Bieber . . .
A whale calf and its mother are separated forever when Japanese Whalers hunt the calf. Then, a small submersible disguised as the calf harvests hundreds of gallons of the mother’s milk.
TOKYO — Japanese whalers have long targeted blue whale calves simply because the adult of the species is too large, but . . .
Pope Francis was assassinated by an unidentified gunman after pointed statements condemning “banksters”
ROME — Pope Francis, the popular new pope known for humility and outreach to the poor, was shot down by an assassin Tuesday morning as he drove his small, unarmored car to work without the protection of the celebrated . . .
Norm sums up what it’s like to write any kind of satire. This story reveals how Norm pioneered cyberbullying, the torch we carry today . . .
The newest leak on the NSA a “silver bullet” for internet manipulation.
INTERNET — Humans are entirely irrational and guided by unconscious compulsions rather than evidence, according to a new document leaked after hackers infiltrated the US Secret Psyop Command nestled within the NSA’s secrecy zone. Journalst Glenn Greenwild reported, “Now that . . .