Part 1-Lulz from Anons
Anonymous is the go to collective of hackers for media outlets that want to drum up fear for internet freedom. The weapon of choice for Anonymous is a distributed denial of service attack, also known as DDoS. DDoS works by overloading a web server to the point where it can no longer function for a few hours. Nothing about it is very threatening in reality.
I’m writing this in a public library, sick with paranoia that these preteens around me are Anons. They look like Anons. In Anonspeak an Anon is a member of Anonymous. Anons will deny they are a member of anything. This is just the base of the inside-out pyramid of contradictions that form the body of Anonymous ideology.
Anons are far above the lowly label of group. Anonymous prefers the self-gratifying label of ’hyper-consciousness.’ In truth, most Anons are a collection of sub-conscious slaves, sucked in by ingenious propaganda. Anonymous might be the latest development in bot net technology. A bot net is kind of like a large bank of computers that can be drawn upon for a DDoS attack. Hackers used to have to write computer viruses to create a bot net. Anonymous is like a bot net that is spread and maintained by viral ideology.
Anonymous is easy to get sucked into. I became obsessed myself. I don’t blame these kids for wanting to be activists, I understand that. Defiance is the appeal. Yet it doesn’t take a lot of insight to see that the true feature of an Anon is not activism or defiance. It is submission.
I’m an expert troll with over a decade of experience. In AnonSpeak a troll is a highly honorable position of power. A troll disconnects himself from all preconceived notions and creates a narrative that is designed to outrage others. Trolls feed off of lulz. Derived from the older acronym LOL, which means laughing out loud, lulz has a deeper connotation of self-satisfaction. I wrote a masterful opinion piece, every detail designed to outrage Anonymous and challenge as many of their ideologies as possible. I published it to AnonNews and traffic to my web site increased 50-fold overnight. It was cake. In AnonSpeak, cake is something that was just too damned easy.
If only I could have dropped it there. There were too many lulz to be had, too much cake for the eating. I had drawn myself into their twisted virtual world.
Part 2-Descent
My magnum opus of trolling art rocketed to the top of the list of least popular stories on AnonNews. The piece was entitled “Why Anonymous is completely irrelevant.” Among other things, I criticized AnonNews for putting up advertisements and using PayPal to take donations. Within a day, the ads were down. AnonNews began to accept donations through a different service, too. The commentary on AnonNews was the most delicious kind of troll food. They were “butthurt” to say the least. The lulz were more addictive than any drug I have ever taken. There was too much troll food for any single troll to eat. Some began eating the scraps, even adopting my pseudonym ‘Kilgore Trout’ when it suited them.
This public library computer lab is the type of place that Anons would congregate, in my imagination. There are the furtive whispers of children, defective fluorescent lights. The lightly clattering keys and snapping mice beat out a modern tribal rhythm that seems to be somehow perfectly in step with the disorganized light show. Insane thoughts have been planted in their heads, silently manipulating the vacillating children subjects into organized action.
I played my ego, speaking of my many talents and the cake that influence over them was. I even issued a press release to warn Anonymous how easy they were to hijack while taking credit for doing so. I was the lord king glutton of trolls, overfed and over read. I’ll even share my favorite piece of troll food. Some anon rightly accused me of pilfering from Vonnegut, and said that I did not live up to the name of Kilgore Trout. I still go into uncontrollable fits of laughter at the idea of not living up to Vonnegut’s alter ego, his exercise in brutal self deprecation.
I didn’t sleep, I missed work. When I did work I would break into hysterics, unable to stop laughing about how much power I had over these morons. It had all started out as a joke, but I could sense my influence, it was something tangible. I changed from a being of flesh and blood into a virtual body comprised of nothing but lulz. Every affectation and trait that defined the super hero “hyperconsciousness” these children had built their cult around invaded my being. I had become their own hideous reflection.
Part 3-Westboro Baptist
Westboro Baptist is a cult run by Fred Phelps that uses strategies similar to trolling so that it can sustain itself. They go to soldiers’ funerals and call everyone there a bunch of fag lovers. When the fists fly, they profit. Anonymous posted a press release promising DDoS attacks on the activists at Westboro Baptist shortly after my influence had risen. Westboro Baptist responded by posting their own press release on AnonNews. It said quite simply, “bring it on.”
I went on the warpath. These were my lulz, not Fred Phelps’. I was in charge here, not some shitty church. I began to meddle with these children’s minds. I dropped my pseudonym. I was Anonymous, hyperconsciousness in the flesh. I spread rumors that Westboro Baptist Church had posted the threat themselves. I began to call anyone who disagreed a WBCfag and accused them of infiltrating Anonymous. Within a few hours, multiple press releases reflected this twisted version of reality and reinforced the point of view that had descended from my hegemony. All attacks were called off, and I celebrated my victory over Fred Phelps and Anonymous with a 40 oz. for me and all my friends.
Even then, I had continued to accept the idea that there were no leaders. Yet as someone who had found the method to exercise control over Anonymous, I began to see evidence of an invisible hand.
Despite the lack of support, Anonymous was insistent on attacking Westboro Baptist. A DDoS attack was impossible because I had scuttled the mass interest. Instead, a small group or individual gained root access to Westboro Baptist’s web servers and defaced them. All the power I had gained was gone as easily as it had come. Someone was surely pulling some strings from behind the scenes, employing a kind of virtual secret police to get the job done.
Part 4-The Hegemony Strikes Back
I know they’re going to come after me. The threats have been mounting. They’re going to deface my web site and publish all my e-mails and chat logs. I’m ready for it. If Anonymous was more grounded in reality, they would threaten to murder me.
Anonymous bears all the hallmarks of a totalitarian regime. First of these is the derisive labeling of enemies. Anons call me a namefag. Namefag is of course Anonspeak for enemy. The group of allies I have made are called moralfags. This is also Anonspeak for enemy. I pity these exploited young men that have been tricked into hatred.
Anons believe that anonymity protects them from the government. This is a fantasy. They also believe it can protect them from outsiders who would hijack their movement. What a joke! I committed my most vile acts of influence by assuming anonymity and abusing the nature of these weak young men. The hand that silently manipulates these kids knows that preaching anonymity, anarchy, and nihilism keeps them shackled with totality. It keeps out new ideas and new leaders. Their naivety is exploited just as in any totalitarian state.
Anonymous is manipulated by propaganda. Every press release is punctuated with the following mottoe:
We are Anonymous
We are legion
We do not forgive
We do not forget
Expect us.
Press releases appear criminal and intimidating. They use fiery language and incite anger. They make Anons feel part of something not only important, but bad ass. These kids go and tell girls at school that they are Anons in the hopes it will get them some action. Hell, it might even work. Oh, baby, won’t you wear that Guy Fawkes mask while we dry hump?
The insecurities and fantasies of Anons are also exploited. The pervasive use of ‘fag’ in Anonspeak plays on the young men’s uncomfortable sexuality. They are frustrated living in a world where adults control them, so they slip into a false reality. Here, Anonymous is a godlike super being that they can worship and be a part of. It is a kind of personality cult constructed around a hyperconsciousness that is lifted straight out of science fiction. These kids DDoS Egyptian government web sites and then take credit for the entire revolution. The propaganda compares Anons to protesters in the streets. They are fed the lie that one day Anonymous will bring freedom to everyone on Earth. It is a very pleasant fantasy.
Anonymous shows every sign of being manipulated by somebody. I know what kind of mind is behind Anonymous. It is the pet project of a genius with an unnatural ability to create viral ideas. He or she has carefully crafted Anonymous just to take it for a joyride. To this person, the power from Anonymous is its own end. Yet I would also consider the possibility that Anonymous has been carefully engineered by a government or multi-national corporation. To them, Anonymous is only a means to quicken the erosion of internet freedom, an imminent threat to their power.
Being bound by these so-called rules and order that you’ve created will be fatal. You fall for such easy tricks
because you’re bound by pathetic rules and ties of obligation.
The “Freedom Of The People” anonymous speaks so highly of is their greatest strength yet it will also be there biggest downfall. For example, anonymous is a group that stands for people and their freedom. Putting that into consideration, if and at all anonymous will slowly but surely encounter a group that will go against there so called “Freedom”. If the attacks on the playstation network weren’t anonymous doing then I am sure this “other” group is as I have said before slowly but surely coming. And of course they won’t be bound by rules of freedom for the people as it has already been clearly shown with the playstation network and the theft of personal information. Of course I am sure anonymous is prepared for this and the consequences that will arise as a result of their “Freedom”? Because if these unintended consequences help to create new worlds; who will bear the blame for sins committed? Who will take the punishment and who will measure it out?
The word ‘fag’ means nothing to me. It is a word. Get over it. And to Pseudonymous (the writer of this pathetic article), I say that manipulating young men is a pretty fag-ish activity. You feel you are powerful, yet there is someone pulling your strings as we speak. You are a puppet. Everyone is.
fag
+1
fag fag fag fag douchy douchy fag bag skank sack slut muffin megaSoreAss pussy quit your crying
“yet there is someone pullings your strings”
bitch you sound either high off your ass or you have downz, fag
Yep, you’re right. I’m high. Definitely. Oh wait, I’m not a ghetto-a** like you, and I’m actually going to do something with my life, not smoke weed all day. And don’t come crying to me when you get busted and put in jail either.
Do we have a wordfilter? Censorship, on my chronicle!? FUCK ASS TITS CUNT NIGGER WHORE ANONYMOUS SPAM REBECCA BLACK
Nope, just a douchebag.
rolf im in all ap classes in high school and just got a full ride to college. good try sir. also i smoke weed DAILY and still ace my calc exams. HA
Ctrl Alt Delete urself
Teach us to reach us don’t reach us to teach us.
i love this site. its like trey parker and matt stone fucked zeitgeist and the demon spawn was this site. im pretty sure either all, none, or some of what i read is true or false
I challenge Anon. How much do u want to be they pussy out and don’t accept.
‘u want to be’? I think you mean ‘you want to bet’. Maybe you should get Opera as an internet browser, I hear it has a spell check for you =]
Still, poor spelling aside, I cannot accept that challenge for three reasons. I am an individual and therefore not Anonymous. The second reason is that you didnt specify a challenge. Finally the third reason is that this is a pretty pathetic attempt at trolling
.
rofl, he said 2) you didnt specify a challenge. ahahahaha
Trolling or not he has some valid points, Anonymous has a symbolism similar to government,militia, an cult groups across the globe.Look up Pyramid Scheme. The whole headless suit,cutie-pie swagger motto smells of Nazi idealism force fed to eighteen year old script-kiddies without ideals of their own.No single person commenting on this article has any power in the group of Anonymous. You’re not apart of a movement of freedom you’re slaughtering the very “freedoms” you claim to protect. Freedom in a real form would have allowed his article to go free of your harassment,bias and slander or childish opinion’s based off what other “anons” would do. You’re freedom fighter mentality has you blinded, you’re just wayward bee’s without a queen who watched hackers one to many times. you belong to nothing but a movement with its own political agendas. You can only remain anonymous for so long before the law of averages claim’s its prize your anonymous existence and exclusion from the group leaving you alone. Enjoy your latest trend of internet fads.Your whores controlled by the pimp of pimps, false ideals and misinformation. Your claim to fame is DDos attacks, the lulz in that alone screams immaturity at the highest level. Real political outlets seek change not DDos strikes.Sadly the hippie movement was the last revolution America will see.
We are Anonymous only by name
You could argue that it’s “trolling” to bestow conflicting evidence on any situation, shining light on a subject to reveal its blemishes. If this angers people, maybe it’s trolling. Maybe satire. Probably truth.
I share your pessimism. I worry that the social revolution of the 1960s was the last of the backbone we’re going to see in America. But then again, maybe our throw-away reality TV culture and the accompanying redneck “WE ARE THE BEST” shit will die off and pave the way for a new awakening, where even lazy disgusting people will form the most basic of convictions – a platform on which the intelligent can launch a true revolution.
This, anyway, is my utmost hope. All my chips are in.
Bakery, your words are always welcome here.
Also, thanks: for you have inspired me to comment on one of our stories.
You could also say that freedom is the ability to write this, and it’s also freedom to slander it..etc. freedom of the press, freedom of speech.
Freedom to try and get people to stop doing what you don’t want them to do..whether it’s right or wrong.
“Freedom in a real form would have allowed his article to go free of your harassment,bias and slander or childish opinion’s based off what other “anons” would do.”
So freedom is the repression of countering opposing beliefs? Nice to know.
To use your logic: “Freedom in a real form would not have allowed his[sic] article to be published as it opposed the view of someone else.”
You absolute dolt.
you suck big time
Who gives a fuck?
Congrats, you are a troll. Why is this a good thing?
Also, I wish to correct you, you didn’t technically troll Anonymous, as Anonymous can be anyone anywhere there’s still 99.99% of the world you haven’t trolled yet.
You’re insights into Anonymous being perceived as a god have been suggested before, by many people From many different backgrounds. The difference between Anonymous and a conventional god is that you can see evidence of the works of Anonymous all round the world. Peole find comfort in religion, maybe this is a similar thing to religion. I wouldn’t really know, seeing as how I am not religious but whatever. Food for thought maybe?
Any finally you have been drawn in as well I fear. ‘Expect us’, from the last line of their moto has been assimilated by your memory very well. I can see the obvious paranoia in your writing and I pity you for it. This article was an attempt to rid yourself of the paranoia, to try and regain power over Anonymous as a whole. As a whole Anonymous does not care for you or your article. If it did then I would bet that your fears will be realised, your site pulled apart, your identiy released and your life pulled apart. Maybe that’s what you need to rid yourself of this phobia, proof that anonymous can do what you think, to justify your apparent insanity.
TLDR? I pity you.
Regards, Ember
herp derp. u got trolled and TLDR doesn’t change it.
I got linked this page by my psychology lecturer and asked to have a quick look at it. This gentlemen might need psychological help in the near future, this is no laughing matter.
Ember, the delusions I express here are common among those who are drawn into Anonymous or any other cult-like group. Hence, the title.
But have you paused to think why it has affected you so deeply? Why you, among a select few has obsessed over it? The timidness in your responses already tells me the truth. You dont hate Anonymous, you hate yourself at this point in time. You expressed in another post an interest for Anonymous to have a conscience. You pity them as I pity you. Both of you need salvaging. These are not insults, this is not abuse nor ignorance. I honestly fear for your mental health. This ‘cult’ has corrupted you to take pleasure in their practices, as I once did. If you dont break free then who knows what could happen to you. I dont and nor would I wish to endure it should the worse come to pass. I might join the forums incase you need me. Not to doubt your abilities but even the mightiest soul can break.
Good luck friend, I’ll be in touch should you need me =]
Well this is hilarious. I would have expected a less mature offensive from an individual who declares to be the ‘leaderfag’ of Anonymous. Man up Sigmund, this attempt to challenge the mental ability of a single anonymous individual is pathetic. If you cant take on one of us then you cant take us all on.
you tell ‘em, ember!
An egotheistic religion is a belief system that says all people are a part of god, but in the sense that the the collective will of the people (usually of that religion) controls what the universe is and is not. People who enter normal religions do so because it gives them hope, sometimes not even that, sometimes it’s just comfort, the rock in the sea around which they can build a port for when the storm comes, the thing they can find some stability in their lives from, even when their isn’t any. People enter egotheistic religions because it makes them feel powerful, it makes them feel as if the world is theirs to shape as they see fit, so long as there are enough like-minded people with them. That is anonymous, and it is a terrible thing. No one pays attention to you guys any more, hell, going anonymously on almost any forum nowadays gets you labeled a “trend following moron” even if you say that you have no connection to the group itself.
I live in the real world.
I am an individual, I do not hide.
I shine the light on those who hide in the darkness, but do not shy from it myself.
Not all light is good but that is no reason to extinguish:
The Sun
i credit my best work to anonymous… i am nobody, anybody, everybody… this author does not know or describe me in any way… i do not know a single other anon….i am anonymous…. i target and do as i please and on my schedule…
why do you end all your sentences with ellipsis? you’re making anonymous look bad, dick.
OP is still a fag
hell yeah, i’m still a naemfag oldfag leaderfag and not a moralfag.
[...] Descent into Anonymous [...]
“I’m an expert troll with over a decade of experience” PMSL
Couple of errors:
1) Namefag and Moralfags are not ‘enemies’ simply terms used on 4chan to describe posters; namefags for using a name or tripcode (often called a tripfag) and moralfag is someone prone to whiteknight tendencies.
2) The hackers who cracked WBC are as new to Anonymous as most of the Facebook recruits that have joined operation payback.
Otherwise I quite enjoyed the article, although Anonymous is far more critical of itself than you are. You should read the Dramatica entry.
Not sure what to expect as retaliation, but I would say it will be far more threatening than a DDoS. If the internet detectives find you then you can expect the hackers to penetrate you. And if you don’t feel some RL intimidation I’ll be quite suprised. Enjoy your cake
Ah, and I thought the troll food had dried up. More sexual imagery from powerless children…So I’m going to be penetrated, or “raped” like HBGary was? There is nothing your powerless hyperconsciousness can do to harm me.
thx for revealing infos about WBC hacker n00bz
I was sitting next to him when he wrote this. Would have done something about it, but it enhances my epic rep.
I enjoyed reading this. You have some valid points, and I find your speculation quite intriguing.
Anonymous as an “organization” definitely has flaws as you have demonstrated, which would be ripe for manipulation by corporate and government interests.
Your analysis of the character of anons is also pretty accurate in many cases, I think. But certainly it’s not true across the board.
Ad hominem fallacy. Look it up.
Cool story bro.
Truly pathetic article. Keep up the good work, Anonymous.
9/10 would be a 10 if you didn’t make it sound like hacking was a supar spechul skeel.
Oh yeah, thanks for telling us you’re a troll. It made everything after that point so much lulzier.
0/10 Trolling.
Try harder. And get a fucking life. It’s so sad to ask for attention from people who are anonymous.
Loser. #nolife
LOLerbladez!!1
umad bro?
TROLLOLOLOLOLO……..TR
http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/8344/1297184657858.jpg
trollface.jpg
Lolumad OP?
So, how come…no-one ever remember Anons beginnings with Scientology…
Because that’s like remembering Democracy started with America. Lurk moar.
We are Anonymous,
We are Legion,
We do not Forgive,
We do not Forget,
Expect Us.
We are Redundant.
Excuse Us.
+1 GREAT COMMENT WOULD READ AGAIN A++++++++++
oh and btw: yes, you won at trolling. cake for you my dear!
sadly, you still are a moron – just as everyone else writing in here
hugs and kisses
and there i thought i blocked this site… damn… have to check that again…
Sweet the botnet works!
This is why I am king of the trolls. I can tell you I’m trolling. I can tell you nothing here is true. Still, you can’t help but give me all this delicious troll food! Nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
stfu namefag, you’re defective and don’t understand anything
lololololol ur right dude this is definitley waaaay to much troll food 4 1 person, it’s like fucking trollsgiving
we need to teach this guy a lesson
you won’t.
Why? If he’s like any other troll he’ll eventually go away and if not there will soon be a press release concerning his admittance to a mental hospital. Either way this problem will fix itself with no interference from the rest of the world.
Can we please focus on the serious issues? What HAS that bieber kid done to his hair!?
Lulz!
social security numbers or GTFO!
Troll
…
You seemed desprate for some more lulz. They’ll come back to bite you in the ass.
We are Anonymous,
We are Legion,
We do not Forgive,
We do not Forget,
Expect Us.
lulz
xenu
You could’ve saved us all alot of time if you hadnt wrote this abortion of an article.
Well, I lol’d. This is true, Anonymous can be controlled, I’ve done it myself, anyone can. I think that’s the point. Anonymous is a big schizophrenic troll that trolls bad people, good people, corporations, dictators, 12 year-olds and even itself once in a while.
But thus far I’ve only participated in ops that I personally agree with and only to the extent I’ve wanted to, which is why I never participate in the hive. I guess I have a sense of self-worth and boundaries. Peer pressure doesn’t affect my decision-making.
Now I think it’s your turn to get trolled, badly.
Namefag
Cool story, bro. Amirite?
Umad?
I think this guy spends too much time on 4chan, and not enough time doing something productive. This article probably took him a hundred or more trips to the dictionary to find big words that will make him feel smarter, because he knows what he is actually saying with his writing is making him sound retarded.
Anonymous is Anonymous and this is Anonymous we are Anonymous they are Anonymous who is Anonymous we are Anonymous because you are Anonymous only until we are all Anonymous will we all be non-Anonymous only until we are all non-Anonymous will we all be free .
-Anonymous-
Paranoid, aren’t we? Grow a pair.
git-r-done.
I read maybe two paragraphs and lost interest.
You, sir, obviously don’t get it.
You mean tl;dr
probably because you can’t read.
OP is an epic faggot & attention-whore
EPIC INSULT! WELCOME TO THE 90s!
I lol’d.
“Anonymous shows every sign of being manipulated by somebody. I know what kind of mind is behind Anonymous. It is the pet project of a genius with an unnatural ability to create viral ideas. He or she has carefully crafted Anonymous just to take it for a joyride.”
That’ll be you then eh Kilgore.
OP; that unseen hand is you bro .
Where is the ‘masterful opinion’ in your piece ?
Please .. you must of used a muck-spreader to formulate this article.
Big up Anon. Keep up the good work.
Peace always.
im to anonymous leave anonymous reply so my name IS my reply
NO U
well i still dont know what anonymous really is about but ive got a feeling ur article is just trying so hard to prove what theyre doing is useless. I say your article is way more useless than you think.
are we outsourcing internet comments now?
I didn’t bother with the article, just went straight to the comments – it’s the best bit as always. More funny comments please…….
so the guy claims he has a website that he posted in his article..
lets deface the shit out of it
this guy is like ” i used a bunch of cry babies to bring more traffic to my site, im the best, but the group is stupid”
yes we are capable of so much.
From the beginning of describing something that Is an opinion is an epic fail, secondly sir, you make no sense or even bring sense by stating that children call themselves anon to get action, I do not think you understand the basic concept of what anonymous is, which Is why in other words you decide to try to bash on what we stand and fight for, this has been a pathetic attempt to troll anonymous, when in fact you have only accomplished writing a story that only 4 people have considered a “like” on Facebook, and in fact the 4 people whom liked this article could be one or many members of anonymous, meaning you sir are just writing for the sake of believing that many people will listen, for the fact that you yourself can go back and be proud of the work you have put into this, for the fact that you have not encountered an anon or maybe you have. Your ideas alone on this article are humorous to me, they make not only me but a lot of the anonymous community will find this funny. Just because you think you know anonymous doesn’t mean you in fact are right about us. But sir, all I can do is applaud you now because all you have accomplished is writing a story about something you know not of. Welll done sir, bravo.
We are Anonymous,
We are Legion,
We do not Forgive,
We do not Forget,
Expect Us.
yeah we get it. cool club guyz.
Anonymous is not just some club. Anonymous has incited rebellions, protected the weak, removed the tyrranical, and defended the rights of free speech. Some “club” also wrote the Constitution of the United States, and look where that went.
it went right down the shitter? cool club guyz.
You my friend, epicly fail. Lolumad?
cool club guyz.
Hey you mak me lulz!
okay, i am willing to admit that you have helped defend free speech its what i used to admire about anonymous, they believed in the right to free speech and the people’s right to choose what they want. “Anonymous has incited rebellions, protected the weak, removed the tyrannical” in the first part of this statement you seem to have confused “incited” with “helped with” ANONYMOUS DID NOT INCITE ANY FUCKING REBELLIONS ANYWHERE, they certainly helped (i assume your talking about egypt) dont get me wrong but to take credit for the entire FUCKING REBELION means not only are you incredibly stupid but your ego is also so big its off the scale
author of this article is a troll for WBC
which makes you a troll for your mother’s scrotum.
This is probably the gayest thing I’ve ever read.
Trolls all the way down!
And that’s really saying something.
what’s it REALLY saying?
It says that my mother has herpes