CHRONICLE.SU DEFEATS TH3J35T3R

TANGO DOWN!

Everything the Jester was once known for has been taken away. He has been castrated by Apache developers, posted an embarrassing music video which encompasses his feelings toward small children, and is now shitting himself in fear of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

JESTER DEFEATS CHRONICLE | OOPS!Recently, I met th3j35t3r in Barrett Brown’s empty tinychat room, where he bragged about taking the Chronicle down for a few days. Which is true, he did: by running a simple script against BlueHost, who we paid to host the Chronicle, he caused one of their servers to seize up and a whole bunch of their clientele’s websites went down with chronicle.su. And when I met him, he had just “quit hacking” – supposedly on a whim, so before I left him in there, I was sure to point out the true reason the attacks stopped:

The script Jester used to attack us – and many others – is now obsolete since Apache developers updated their software. No big deal, just a little update and web hosts everywhere are fine again. We updated and now we are fine. But the Jester’s afraid BlueHost and Lebal Drocer are pissed off about it. And he’s probably right. Sure, maybe we provoked him, but this is what happens when you attack the 1%. They do not forgive. They do not forget. So just because he took us down in August doesn’t mean our old host doesn’t want their fucking money now.

Take one quick moment to absorb our small victory, for we have beaten the Jester at his own silly game. You see, the Jester is a terrorist. His goal is to create terror. For example, he wants to chill our speech – by attacking our site, he hoped to make us afraid to write. Obviously, that didn’t happen. But now he’s afraid that our team of lawyers are coming after him in the name of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

What a cowardly bitch.

Who is th3j35t3r?

The Jester, a known pedophile, is an otherwise sexless man – a “script kiddie” that somehow figured out he could bloat up outdated Apache servers to uselessness. This is achieved by holding a large number of connections open with the server at one time. He is a longtime fan of the Insane Clown Posse, who eroded his creativity before it ever had a chance to bloom. Having no web design skills, his only alternative was to destroy. So he went to “work.” But who to attack?

Over time, the fatass Jesterfag became so well known for torturing Urdu (language) Islamic website owners, he became widely recognized as the world’s most likely hacker to vote a third time for Bush and Cheney.

Later on, as he gained Twitter followers, he took on feelings of Unwarranted Self-Importance and pretended to harbor political convictions after the mainstream media assassinated Wikileaks for being better at journalism than them.

He soon claimed attacks on Wikileaks, as well as the Westboro Baptist Church of Trolling Art.

But he fucked up when I provoked him to attack us. If you’ve been reading up till this point, you know how: he took my bait, ultimately unleashing a ravenous team of coked up Lebal Drocer lawyers who seek to hunt him down like a runaway slave – they are on so much cocaine they’re representing the web hosts of jihadists.

The Jester thought he could bitch and complain to our host that we were running profanity and “slandering” his fake name. [ Editor's note: libel is written. Slander is spoken. ] But he doesn’t know about the law and how there are no laws which protect false identities from libel.

If the Jester read more, he might have learned the laws before making an ass out of himself. But books are for faggots. Still, he is willing to pull Steinbeck quotes from wikiquote. #pseudointellectual #pedophile

Steinbeck wrote about the Great Depression – a time when men were men, and you didn’t fuck with other people’s accounts unless they were fucking with your moonshine operation. But if you did, you learned the hard way not to. The Jester, too, will learn.

The Chronicle always wins.

___
Mach2600 is a slut. Her #pussy stinks..

Anonymously37 gets dragged into our shit for the lulz. He has no idea why.

Mockingbird = sockpuppet of the sockpuppet, or #sockingbird

28 comments to CHRONICLE.SU DEFEATS TH3J35T3R

  • [...] Friday night’s match-up between Encyclopedia Dramatica and Oh! Internet is sure to be dead in the water, as no one is likely to attend either website, ditching them in favor of the legendary chronicle.su, who is a pretty cool guy, and doesn’t afraid of anything. [...]

  • sPookEASY
    March 11, 2012 at 5:20 AM · Reply
    oh hai jester! i see you think you an ub3r h4ck3r. i wil put that to an end while i leave in in the t0x1c trap! you caught my eye because you think you are a genius. well i guess its time you learn your place, i will devote my time alone when my wife sleeps to construct a plan so elegant and DESTRUCTIVE you shall learn the meaning of “FUCK WITH THE BEST DIE LIKE THE REST” i am done with hex as of now ive gotten a lil kick in thar, but now i haz some new fagz to getz! jester you sir are my first target as i have doxed you and i am planning some fun for you tommorow(; 3/11/12 if you keep talking shit after you receive your punishment i will not stop and i will be relentless, i will destroy your life like i did to richard and i will have you begging for mercy! so after you are owned tommorow admit it and move on because you dont want to have the same fate as richard who beg me for mercy, well as i promised heres your dox
          Ryan, Thomas  [email protected]
          Provide Security, Inc.
          86 Amber St
          Staten Island, New York 10306-2022
          United States
          7322077916
     
    remember anons and brothers, get trusted TRUST NO ONE. dont trust me or anyother hacker if you want to stay anonymous or you WILL end up like lulzsec
    http://pastebin.com/k6L5WnAP

    Ahahahahaha he was just running his mouth all over twitter tonight. Looks good on that stupid fuck. Hope the terrorist come and get his ass #JhadiMOTHERFUCKER$

  • meanxlilxkitty

    I still fail to see where you have ‘executed retribution’ on th3j35t3r. Seems to me this article is a PBM (piss bitch moan) post. If you are so talented why have you failed to dox him? Seems like the first step your lawyers need to take is to find out who he is. PBM Losers….

    • I for one do not want to see any personal harm come to the Jester. I’ve never publicly doxed anyone, and I’m not about to start now just because he attacked my website. We’re just having fun, and I honestly wish he didn’t take it so personally.

      I mean, surely he is doing more with his life than just “being the Jester,” right? Like his Snow Patrol video (so gay) said, “This isn’t everything that you are.” So then why take it personally? Why publish our IP address – again – in the hopes that a better hacker will attack us?

      Right, so that’s my two cents. Everybody lighten the fuck up and remember: we are a satire website.

      If you think we’re abusing the freedom of speech, write to your congressman and ask what is being done to quell it.

    • Boss Dawg

      This must be Mach2600, #DOUCHE now, we can smell you before we see you.

  • veritas

    The guy handled all these pedo claims against him months ago. Tiessen you are an idiot as seen here: http://th3j35t3r.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/if-ya-cant-beat-em-make-some-shit-up-lmao/#dick

  • anonyourshit

    Nice rage, troll etc :)