Area Christian Too Cool For The Devil

Ashley Johnson, Christian nonconformist

Ashley Johnson, Christian nonconformist

Neighbors and ministers were startled by the appearance of Ashley Johnson, 17, in the Roanoke County First Baptist Church congregation Sunday morning.

With daring hairstyles and casual hoodies, Ashley challenges the age-old precept of blowhard Christian conformity.

Ashley fears society is losing faith in Christ as an alternative to the ways of Satan. Ashley said he is trying to make worshiping Jesus cool again. “I hope younger folks will see that cool people love Jesus, too. And why not? I mean, Jesus died for ours sins, and I think that’s pretty cool.”

“Life is sacred, and society seems to have forgotten that,” said Ashley, but asserted he  is “still pro-choice, as long as women are being awesome by keeping their unborn fetus.” Ashley warned pregnant teens they must learn to deal with their choices to get pregnant by remaining pregnant.

“I want to show people you can give your heart to Jesus without conforming to society’s backward norms.”

In tandem with his newfound convictions, Ashley has given up dangerous drugs like beer and marijuana, and stopped having sex with girls, “Which is easy,” Ashley said, “if you just don’t start.”

Join me, and I’ll get you a new iPod.

Lord Jesus God

Ashley recently found Jesus after losing his iPod during a “bad trip” on marijuana. “But Jesus spoke to me,” he said. “[Jesus Christ] said, ‘Join me, and I’ll get you a new iPod.’”

Sure enough, Ashley said, Jesus Christ came through. Just four months after accepting Christ as his Lord and Savior, a man in his youth group offered the young boy his old, used iPod. “He said he didn’t need it anymore, so I could have it.” About six months later, Ashley said, the man brought him closer to Jesus than he ever thought was possible. And finally – after ten months of devoted, repeated forced religious practice in that man’s vehicle – Ashley received his free iPod, securing his faith in our Lord.

Ashley said he will continue to ward off Satan’s vices by remaining loyal to Apple products, and abstaining from secular music like White Stripes, and the Magnetic Fields.

“You can’t hold onto hate. I used to hate my abusers for what they did to me, and I hated people who took me away from God. But now I don’t hate anything, except for terrorists, really. And Islam.”

Ashley Johnson, born again Christian

11 comments to Area Christian Too Cool For The Devil

  • The Facts on Cubic – and Trapwire, Abraxas, Ntrepid, and other Legal Fictions
    This is a long e-mail I just sent to a friend in the media with whom I’d had brief exchange on all this earlier in the afternoon. I’d also like all of this in one place that is not a string of my or other people’s Twitter Tweet Goojygoo Microyell shit, and it’s late and I just spent half my birthday thinking about a bunch of companies that do computer shit, which I’d manage to avoid until I got heavily involved in this issue early last year, so I’m just going to drop this here instead of writing a different one. It’s not like it’s going to be taken seriously by most anyone other than the actual experts on security that had already voiced concerns on the Trapwire issue – many of whom already know most or all of it anyway. As usual, I will protest the fact that very little actual write-ups will appear on this in major outlets no matter how many fucking documents we pull up and how many pertinent quotes we find despite not being paid for it, and that one of the few things that actually appeared on it yesterday was by Adrian Chen, who does not regularly write about technology (or even presumably pay attention to the specific facts and documentation that have previously been put out by my group Project PM on the same fucking companies we’re talking about right here, despite the fact that Chen has written at least three or four articles that are either entirely or about me and which are often at least partly false even when I walk him through shit) (full disclosure: I really dislike Chen, his other questionable “reporting” on things like a “OWS murder link” that even initially was so clearly bullshit that actual Gawker commenters noted it, and which was further debunked the next day by NYT; go Google it yourself). That some large number of media industry folks will have read his piece – which calls the idea of Trapwire likely using such things as facial recognition “outlandish” despite Abraxas head and 30-year CIA veteran Richard “Hollis” Helms (no apparent relation to Nixon era director) having written, way back in 2005, that Trapwire would “collect information about people and vehicles that is more accurate than facial recognition;” which is to say that, though actually claimed by its creators (to execs and departments with industry professionals on hand to evaluate products, rather than rubes who know little about the specific tech) to have been designed to use something EVEN BETTER than facial recognition seven fucking years ago, it is thus “outlandish” to suspect that the current version, which like similar security capabilities I’ve had to learn about over more than a year is presumably updated regularly by this whole damn Abraxas spin off, “Abraxas Applications” (and inevitably, it’s run by yet another goddamn CIA veteran, which like most of this will be big no big deal to everyone who’s somehow managed to read nothing about the CIA, such as probable majority of U.S. “citizens”). So, a hot capability that’s being used widely by some of the key security customers across the globe and which involves several different technologies has perhaps not seen reason to take advantage of measurable (admittedly not huge, to public knowledge) advances in facial recognition as accessed by top intelligence/defense complex in the world, despite seven years. Even if we pretend that such an idea is still nonetheless “outlandish” – let’s say that the vast majority of writing we’ve done on anything involving actual security policy is on Barrett Brown, and that we’ve even managed to make false claims about him, least defamatory of which is that he’s cynically writing a book “on his adventures” rather than about Gregg Housh and HIS experiences, (which are highly interesting if you’ve read about him) which is what it was always about – which is to say, let’s pretend that we think on the level of Adrian Chen, The Guy Whom The Universe Has Knighted To Inform A Thousand Other Mediocre Media People on Issues He Only Cares About When It Means He Can Say Moderately Clever Things About How Silly Activists Are. Play this pretend game with me. Okay? Great. Now, let’s say that. IT USES NOT JUST SOMETHING THAT’S SAID TO BE BETTER FACIAL RECOGNITION, BUT ALSO OTHER UNKNOWN COMPONENTS, INCLUDING SOME THAT APPARENTLY NEED TO BE DESCRIBED IN GENERAL BECAUSE COMMON NAMES DO NOT YET EXIST FOR THEM, AS PER THE HEAD OF THE FIRM ABRAXAS THAT SUPPOSEDLY DOESN’T HAVE A WHOLE LOT TO DO WITH THE TECH IT GAVE TO ITS SPIN-OFF OR HOW IT’S USED, ACCORDING TO A STATEMENT BY CUBIC, WHICH ITSELF IS DOCUMENTED TO BE DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH ABRAXAS, WHICH IS ALLEGEDLY NOT IN TURN INVOLVED IN DECISIONS CONCERNING ITS OWN SPIN-OFF (in one of the few documentations of a relationship between infosec contractors – HBGary and HBGary Federal – the principles of each were in constant collaboration, e-mail for both was on one server (lol), and many of the events they’re most known for were handled PR wise by the HBGary execs calling the shots on the three or so people that its creation employed.) So, now we’re pretending that thing, that all that is the case. In this Pretend Play Game Universe, guess fucking what? It’s still a complex system, run by the sort of people who betrayed us on ATT/NSA wiretapping and other things plus god knows what other things that the secret-keeping people have managed to keep secret. Very few people have attacked the CIA on the grounds that it is not sufficiently intent on keeping secrets and that it is far too meek in the methods by which it does this, except perhaps certain uncles who are actually addicted to crack, and don’t just smoke it twice a year when black-out drunk but actually every day. Anyone who wants to note that we don’t know for sure that what we term “facial recognition” is used in addition to similar and allegedly better techs which themselves are used in combination by a system that is recording a great deal of activity by large portions of several Western populations is right to do so. We don’t know for sure. But when people who clearly didn’t read even the bare majority of the little we have on the subject are taken seriously by many of the people who will decide if it’s worth looking into more, just maybe, then we have a sick republic in which an actual fucking drug addict like myself has to compile tell you these things, many of which were discovered by people who nonetheless do not officially rate the credibility inherent to the title of “journalist” – a term which itself should be used much less in this degenerate age of a degenerate republic.

    Also, uh, here’s the thing I actually wanted to tell you, about the syndicated piece that went down from at least seven or eight Australian outlets without any explanation or acknowledgement. Forgive lack of run-on sentences and self-aggrandizement/settling of personal scores, was written in haste and for one person:

    Backchannel explanation from one of the outlets that ran the scrubbed
    piece, provided so far to Aussie activist who’s been involved heavily,
    is that Cubic contends central fact of the story – which was written
    by two journos, one of who is tech editor – that Cubic is related to
    Trapwire, which as we know is run directly by spin-off of subsidiary
    Abraxas, is substantially incorrect, and that this prompted a
    syndicated story that had in one incarnation been linked to heavily,
    including by Wikileaks itself. Tweet an hour ago from one writer, the
    editor, implied he hadn’t himself realized that no explanation had yet
    been put up as to why it was taken down, which to me sounds insane. In
    last hour Telecomix folks and I have found a couple of things,
    including two more state filings from Cubic on Abraxas relationship -
    tax filings notes “synergies” between Cubic and Abraxas as well as
    regular cross-over uses of software with another subsidiary. None of
    this clearly proves that Cubic is making any decisions with regards
    to, say, how the contracts of Trapwire itself are distributed, for
    instance. We would have to have e-mails or other documents of any such
    collaboration, officially or unofficially, to know that. What we do
    know, and which is perhaps relevant to this question, is that the
    already-known-to-be-scummy intel firm with its own extensive gov links
    was itself involved in how Trapwire’s day-to-day controllers, as Wired
    noted today from other e-mails stemming from the batch. So, yeah,
    between that and a few other factors, plus whatever else comes up in
    the next hour, we’re all very convinced that there’s a lot more to
    this that was hidden for a fairly good pragmatic reason, and at the
    least that the story being entirely scrubbed, as opposed to even
    corrected a bit (which may or may not be itself reasonable – I had an
    op-ed for Guardian changed and slapped with editor’s note about a
    “correction” HBGary’s lawyers made about alleged operational
    difference between HBGary and HBGary Federal, which colluded on many
    matters including only ones I discussed, without them even asking me
    or checking to see if it was true – which it wasn’t, as I and Ars
    Technica and several more MSM outlets had already noted using their
    own docs/e-mails. Also in in just last ten minutes from Telecomix and
    other folks: “Abraxas Dauntless, Ntrepid and TrapWire Inc. have three
    of four board members as an interlocking directorate” (Dauntless is
    yet another subsidiary recently acquired, with documented
    collaboration between Cubic and itself). There’s even more and people
    are looking for now, but that should do it. Links below.

    *Edit, 16th 3:01

    So why would Cubic attempt, and immediately achieve, its goal of getting a story pulled from six papers, without explanation, a story about what exactly its subsidiary is doing when it’s presumably doing something good? And why, although as shown below they do work with at least three of their purchased or created firms (with none yet found on any subsidiary with which they do not work), and have hidden (and thus had reason to hide) their connections to their other “spin-off” subsidiaries-of-subsidiaries – and perhaps with some of whichever others they’ve actually managed to hide? Their dozens of known and often quite large “spin-offs” (a term which can still entail any degree of cooperation and certainly has with HBGary’s and a couple of others among the the few from which e-mail correspondence was made public via hack in 2011) across the world. And since Stratfor was working in secret with Abraxas Apps (and that they changed the name so quickly is not necessarily proof that something about their existing name might become another of those don’t-be-linked-at-all-to-the-above-company things they’ve pursued with Ntrepid and, again, however many firms under cover. Why, why, why would a very powerful institution with a very extraordinary revenue stream and super-connected officials whose job is to keep the contracts favorable and of course keep public from hearing them in association with a firm they, quite frankly, are more likely than not to be involved with on both a strategic level as well as a more coordinated level whenever it would make sense to do so. There’s no particular reason not for that coordination to happen between a company and another company that bought that company because it does something similar to what they do in a way that makes sense to buy it and then try to make sure that it makes lots more money for the company that is a company, rather than a hobby or a phase teens go through, and which quite reasonably wants to maximize profit?

    Well, probably it wouldn’t want to be associated by name with a subsidiary it owns that clearly tracks people in some manner that provides not just information, but the ability to learn who in particular needs to have more information pulled up about them via other means, perhaps even things like Trapwire’s iWatch program, or from the “See Saying, Say Something” program that it actually oversees. That’s one of many things that didn’t just seem noteworthy to the New York Times when it explained away concerns about the program as “wildly exaggerated” based in part on what they were told in a private conversation they had with some people at the DHS whose names or titles or evidence for what they claimed are coquettishly left to the imagination in the high New York Times reporting style that was always most polished in the work of Judith Miller (aside from whoever else hasn’t gotten caught using it, of course).

    The other thing we didn’t hear from the media on Trapwire, and obviously on the six deletions that weren’t originally caught, is that Cubic wants to be able to get more contracts doing public-space security of the sort that isn’t focused on landmarks, but on everyone – transportation.

    Perhaps they don’t want connections made at all about itself and one of its firms, and to such an extent that they asked for and got an article deleted without initial explanation (and with a shitty vague semi-leaked one afterwards, and now a supposedly entirely true explanation you can buy for a buck at newstands in Australia) that doesn’t explain why they didn’t do what papers like themselves almost always do when such things happen, which is to add a correction note at top or bottom and perhaps fix whatever actually makes it incorrect. That the premise is wrong – that nothing that Cubic does is coordinated with anything that its subsidiary does, even though firms tend to coordinate with others for “synergy,” as Cubic said it would get from Abraxas in its very own tax filings – is not only not proven by Cubic at all, but also likely to be true based on what people like me who spend all day thinking about Cubic have found or gathered up about this actual story that the story-people out there at the NYT don’t need to find because the NYT offers prestige, which is even better than relevant information about globe-spanning issues with an already demonstrable and potentially much larger than thus proven impact on the the privacy and state-citizen power relationship of tens of millions of people and perhaps more.

    That the article was not simply changed to say something like “Cubic claims it doesn’t coordinate with this subsidiary as it does with a couple of the secret ones that popped up just because some wacky kids stole all HBGary’s e-mails,” or at least the lest informative version thereof that is fit for newspaper writing, is because of one thing. Cubic wasn’t asking if they could please correct the article because they are disputing with no proof that it is entirely wrong. They WANTED that thing down.

    Here are the links that went to an article about Cubic and its subsidiaries and how they plan to be a part of your transportation experience. Sorry they don’t lead to anything, even explanations, but the firm just really didn’t want a lot of irritating focus on this minor matter:

    http://m.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/revealed-trapwire-spy-cams-ticket-to-au stralia-20120813-2448z.html
    http://www.canberratimes.com.au/technology/technology-news/revealed-trapwire-spy-cams-ticket-to-australia-20120813-2448z.html
    http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/surveillance-system-linked-to-transport-defence-contractor-20120813-244yj.html
    http://m.watoday.com.au/technology/technology-news/revealed-trapwire-spy-cams-ticket-to-australia-20120813-2448z.html
    http://m.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/revealed-trapwire-spy-cams-ticket-to-australia-20120813-2448z.html
    http://www.katherinetimes.com.au/news/national/national/general/revealed-trapwire-spy-cams-ticket-to-australia/2648709.aspx
    http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/nsw/surveillance-system-linked-to-transport-defence-contractor-20120813-244yj.html
    http://m.canberratimes.com.au/nsw/surveillance-system-linked-to-transport-defence-contractor-20120813-244yj.html

    And here are the links you need now.

    “anticipated synergies include the ability to expand services
    offerings” #Cubic filing on #Abraxas
    http://www.faqs.org/sec

    filings/110203/CUBIC-CORP-DE-_

    10-Q/#ixzz23bG2qIx2
    … #Trapwire

    HBGary easily forced my editors to add “correction”:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/

    commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/

    jun/22/hacking-anonymous
    … … that was false:
    http://arstechnica.com/tech-

    policy/news/2011/04/hbgary-

    issues-denials-snipes-at-the-

    blog-o-sphere-in-open-letter.

    ars… #Trapwire

    @TelecomixBSRE just pointed out this 2010 Cubic/Abraxas merger
    agreement, looking now
    http://agreements.

    realdealdocs.com/Agreement-

    and-Plan-of-Merger/AGREEMENT-

    AND-PLAN-OF-MERGER-2856738/
    … (nothing much there other than financial/legal shit, unless missed
    something)

    The folks who can watch you and see where else you’ve been also help
    CENTCOM make fake online people.
    http://wiki.echelon2.org/wiki/

    Persona_Management … #Trapwire

    Last year, Cubic hid subsidiary Ntrepid so well that 2 Guardian
    reporters who looked couldn’t find it. (both are actually exceptional
    reporters, just overlooked tax docs later found by one of PM
    volunteers who’s very good researcher)
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/

    technology/2011/mar/17/us-spy-

    operation-social-networks

    Tweet by writer/editor who co-wrote syndicated story:

    @MylesPeterson @barrettbrownlol @not_me @asher_wolf Thought it went
    out today sorry. Should be tmrw then. Held to confirm some facts.
    Expand

    My reply

    5h Barrett Brown ‏@BarrettBrownLOL
    @ashermoses Obviously your instinct to retract is noble, but want to
    ensure you know that Cubic obscured truth last year. (referring to
    Ntrepid thing above)

    Abraxas, other Cubic subsidiary Ntrepid made with Abraxas staff and
    tech that won CENTCOM bid for persona management: details, known docs
    on persona management and that contract:
    http://wiki.echelon2.org/wiki/

    Persona_Management

    Our page on Cubic/Abraxas/Ntrepid, not yet updated for Trapwire
    revelations and not nearly as mean as it will get when I have the
    time: http://wiki.echelon2.org/wiki/

    Cubic_Corporation

    Please, please ask me if you have any questions at all,
    by Barrett Brown

  • John Scrotumoto

    I see a picture of a faggot mother fucker named Gayshley.

  • PenisBreath

    Oh you know that little faggot likes his mouth filled with multiple cocks. He drinks cumDumplings by the truck load. I think his mom is a nigger.

  • Stinky McCracken

    Ashley BJ Johnson is another one of them pole smoking queers.

  • I received the following transmission via SOVCHRON late last night:

    From: Briana Hudson ([email protected])
    Subj: Who Are You Really

    I am not so sure how i stumbled upon this illuminati stuff . I was surfin the web bored . I am a 17 year old christian who loves & worships Christ Jesus . Readin about the illuminati , whats its about , shattered my heart . I dont understand any of this evilness , taking over the world , murdering people . When you think ur at the top what have u really accomplished by destroying lives to get there . Its not right . But ur right we do all die & in the end there is heaven & there is hell & i read my bible . You dont win . Blue Ivy is an innocent baby , & she is being brought into this horrid world of witch craft & devil worshipers its not right ! Justin bieber is an amazingly talented world loved teenager & you guys control him . Thts not right ! What about world peace ? Happiness ? Love ? All those things are important . Jus because our faces arent in the lime light , makin millions every night doesnt mean we dont kno how to live . Im pretty sure we could give u better advice about this world than you can . You guys need to be stopped . & i dont care what i have to start doing to stop all of your evilness . Im not scared to tell you off , let u kno ur wrong , cuz my God is bigger than u evr thought about being . My God created this earth u are tryin to take over . He even created u . Ur no different from anyone else in the world . Ur not better . Nothing u do or hav makes u any better than me . Im sure alot of it makes u worse . I Hate Illuminati & Im Not Givin Up Till You Are Stopped .

    • Brandon Raub’s Mom

      Full text, Brandon Raub’s proclamation: Take our Republic back
      The Truth http://wtvr.com/2012/08/21/full-text-brandon-raubs-proclamation-take-our-republic-back/
      By Brandon J Raub on Friday, November 11, 2011 at 10:00 am
      America has lost itself. We have lost who we truly are. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave.
      This is the land of Thomas Jefferson.
      This is the land of Benjamin Franklin.
      This is the land of Fredrick Douglas.
      This is the land of Smedley Butler.
      This is the land John F. Kennedy.
      This is the land of Martin Luther King.
      This is the land where the cowboy wins. This is the land where you can start from the bottom and get to the top. This is the land where regardless of you race and ethnicity you can succeed and build a better life for you and your family. This is the land where every race coexists peacefully. This is the land where justice wins. This is the land where liberty dwells. This is the land where freedom reigns. This is the land where we help the poor, and people help each other. This is land where people beat racism.
      The Federal Reserve is wrong. They have designed a system based off of greed and fear. They designed a system to crush the middle class between taxes and inflation. This is wrong, and it is unjust. It is wrong.
      We have allowed ourselves to be deceived and seduced by the powers of the printing press. It is not a good system. It discourages saving: the foundation for all stable economic activity. The Federal Reserve is artificially manipulating interest rates and creating phony economic data.
      This thing has deceived our entire nation.
      They created it in 1913. They also created the income tax in 1913. They encouraged the growth of debt so they can tax you on it. There is interest on the debt. Your government is in bed with these people. They want to enslave you to the government so that they can control every aspect of your lives. It is an empire based on lies. They operate of greed and fear.
      There is a better way. It’s called freedom. Freedom is called a lot of things. But there is a true meaning. It means very simply that you have the right to do whatever you want as long as you are not infringing on the freedoms of other people.
      I firmly believe that God set America apart from the other nations of the world. He saved a place where people could come to to escape bad systems of goverment. This system we have created works. It really works.
      There is evil going on all around the world. The United States was meant to lead the charge against injustice, but through our example not our force. People do not respond to having liberty and freedom forced on them.
      Men and Women follow courage. They follow leadership, and courage. Our example has paved the way for people all around the world to change their forms of government.
      Force is not the way because liberty is a powerful concept. The idea that men can govern themselves is the basis for every just form of government.
      We can govern ourselves. We do not need to be governed by men who want to install a one world banking system. These men have machine hearts. Machine and unnatural hearts.
      They have blocked out the possibility of a better world. They fear human progress. They have monopolies on everything.
      This life can be free and beautiful. There are enough resources on this earth to support the world’s population. There are enough resources on this earth to feed everyone. There is enough land for everyone to own their own land and farm, and produce their own energy.
      These people have been hiding technology. There are ways to create power easily. There is technology that can provide free cheap power for everyone. There are farming techniques that can feed the entire world.
      The Bill of Rights is being systematically dismantled. Men have spilled their blood for those rights.
      Your sons and daughters, your brothers and sisters, and Americas best young men and women are losing their limbs. They are losing their lives. They are losing the hearts. They do not know why they are fighting. They are killing. And they do not know why.
      They have done some extraordinary acts. Their deeds go before them. But these wars are lies. They are lies. They deceived our entire nation with terrorism. They have gotten us to hand them our rights. Our Rights! Men died for those rights!
      September Eleventh was an inside job. They blew up a third building in broad daylight. Building 7.
      Your leaders betrayed you.
      You elected an aristocracy. They are beholden to special interests. They were brainwashed through the Council on Foreign Relations. Your leaders are planning to merge the United States into a one world banking system. They want to put computer chips in you.
      These men have evil hearts. They have tricked you into supporting corporate fascism. We gave them the keys to our country. We were not vigilant with our republic.
      There is hope. BUT WE MUST TAKE OUR REPUBLIC BACK.