Project Odyssey controls the world

Every piece of information entered into the internet is funneled into a gigantic supercomputer  built to categorize and prioritize threats to so-called national security. Originally known as Echelon, this system has been upgraded to Romas/COIN. It is now in its third incarnation: Project Odyssey.

The mass-surveillance system uses powerful linguistic analysis to seed out terrorist and activist threats. This capability has been in place since Echelon. However, mass surveillance is the least of the public’s worries. Odyssey is much more.

Project Odyssey weaponizes social media. In countries like Iran, there are thousands of so-called “sockpuppets” subtly inserting subversive messages, creating public discontent. Some have speculated that Odyssey is to blame for the Arab Spring. As such, America is set to profit off of Libyan oil. There is plenty of reason to be suspicious.

Odyssey is not just engaged in foreign affairs. Odyssey is targeting Americans and Europeans. Activist movements that promote ideas unprofitable for business are being infiltrated by sockpuppets issuing terrorist threats. By associating Socialism or Communism with violence and hate, corporations are able to keep their profits on the rise.

A corporate manager can log into Odyssey and quickly access the personal information of any of his or her employees. Should the employee display any deviant or anti-capitalist behavior, they will immediately be fired. This is also how Barack Obama selects White House employees – all past internet use is quickly and efficiently scanned for subversive thought and then monitored closely after hire. Should anyone question the morality of their job from the “privacy” of their own home, they will immediately be fired.

I know they’re using the sockpuppets against me. A fake piece written under my name was distributed to nearly 3,000 people. In this piece, I announce the end to Project PM. I am writing for the Chronicle to dispel this rumor, although I despise their publication and William Walshe. The obvious attack from Odyssey will not go unchecked. My personal group of hackers are working day and night to bring down Odyssey’s computer systems using the stolen stuxnet source code.

Nobody gives a shit about your Facebook birthday

You have 27 friends with birthdays this week

Nope. I just have too many Facebook friends. Delete.



I pretended to care once, too

If you really gave a fuck about whose birthday was coming up you would’ve already sent them a card, a phone call, an email a “go fuck yourself.” Something.

The obligatory “Happy birthday!” spam on people’s walls is nothing more than an indication that they check their fucking email.

In fact, you should consider yourself insulted that anyone would have the nerve to write “happy birthday” on your Facebook wall instead of sending a private email, because then they’re just using you to portray themselves as someone who cares.

More Irrational Fears

  1. Spending half my time in the shower destroying evidence that I wiped our bar of soap across my mane of pubic hair.
  2. Worrying that when I smile someone believes I think I’m better than them.

Irrational Fears

Sometimes, I am afraid the mirror remembers what it sees and shows the rest of my family.

LulzSec, the lovable Anonymous Psy-Op

From the pit of despair that was AnonOps, a couple of new beasts have arisen. There seems to be little interest in continued DDoS attacks against just anyone. Apparently that part of Anonymous is in hibernation, waiting for the coming crack down on hackers. Barrett Brown’s Project PM – a combination of Wiki technology and the Guide to Pursuants – continues to reveal information from Aaron Barr’s emails. The most prominent post-AnonOps splinter is LulzSec. LulzSec is a group of hackers that break the unspoken rules of Anonymous for the lulz, and boy do they deliver.

Now close your eyes, and visualize the situation Anonymous faced after SonyGate. Someone, leaving the calling card of Anonymous, had accessed the personal information of tens of millions of people. Regardless of whoever was behind this attack, Anonymous stood to lose followers. Think of what a good troll would do in this situation. It doesn’t take a genius to see that LulzSec is the perfect solution.

After a round of attention-whoring on PBS, LulzSec hacked the fuck out of Sony and released the personal information of millions. Oh, the power of trolling when combined with hacking. It makes pussies all over the world go sopping wet, as lulz echo through the canyons. Dear LulzSec, are you the second coming, or the Anti-Christ?

Despite the pwnage of LulzSec, it is now the victim of the endless trolling cycle too. In a Twitter war against a tweeter who thought LulzSec was actually just working for Anonymous, LulzSec devolved to accusing this poor little twit of paying for the PBS hack. Of course, Fox News immediately attention whored this story and used it to prove that LulzSec is actually Anonymous. To many Fox News readers, LulzSec is now definitely Anonymous.

However, LulzSec purposefully breaks the unspoken rules of Anonymous. That is, they have attacked media and leaked the information of innocent people. This doesn’t solve the problem of Joe six pack’s hatred at Anonymous ruining his Call of Duty, but it does solve the glaring DDoS drop off in the wake of the Sony fiasco.

Anonymous has been cured of its lulz shortage, for the time being.


Lord Joplin of the United Kingdom and member of NATO parliament recently drafted a general report updating the organization on information security. While there were many truthful and honest arguments about war in cyberspace, it largely consisted of language aimed at destroying free speech. I have taken the time to sift out the most blatant lies from Lord Joplin.

“Despite its inherent advantages, this dependence on information technology has also made state and society much more vulnerable to attacks such as computer intrusions, scrambling software programs, undetected insiders within computer firewalls, or cyber terrorists. The Internet is inherently insecure as it was designed as a benign enterprise of information exchange, a decentralized patchwork of systems that ensures relative anonymity. It is ill-equipped to trace perpetrators or to prevent them from abusing the intrinsic openness of the cyber domain.”

Everything Lord Joplin says applies to the printing press and the copying machine. These are inventions that totalitarian states have always sought to control and destroy. Be honest, Lord Joplin, the world is ill-equipped to trace perpetrators of ideas because ideas are ephemeral.

As mentioned above, the Information Age has brought about an environment that has made the state and society more vulnerable to digital attacks. They are vulnerable because we no longer keep our files and data in a shelf, but in a virtual world accessible from any one of the world’s corners.

Oh, so someone like Daniel Elsberg can’t go into a shelf and copy all the data on a copying machine with the help of his children? This is a blatant lie, from a monarchist! Go crush a printing press, you’ll feel better!

“The Information Age and its transparent nature may, for example, prevent diplomats from conducting “business as usual” such as making off-the-record statements or engaging in frank discussions with their colleagues.”

Oh no, I can’t be honest anymore with this information age breathin’ down my neck! Fuck’s sake, are you tweeting what I just said? Better keep on lying, damned information age’s fault, not mine!

“Transparency cannot exist without control. The government, and especially its security agencies, must have the right to limit access to information in order to govern and to protect. This is based on the premise that states and corporations have the right to privacy as much as individuals do and that secrecy is required for efficient management of the state institutions and organizations.”

Firstly, transparency only exists without your control, and you are the worst liar ever. Corporations have a right to privacy. Fuck no they don’t. Privacy from their stockholders? Their customers? I think we need a bill of rights for corporations – a bill that takes away their rights. Corporations don’t have the right to suck my dick! They’ve got the right to sell me Coca Cola and past that they don’t have shit.

“…Transparency can be misused on several levels – by providing unprofessional or poor-quality interpretation of information or documents, by conducting superficial or biased analysis, by lack of experience on the topic or by pursuing a political agenda.”

Transparency can be misused, but people can just make up lies without transparency anyway. Last time I checked, the nightly news was more twisted than ever because of political agendas. Did you know that the political parties are paying off the news? Oh, that’s right, they’re corporations, they have the right. Why “misuse” transparency when you can just make shit up to get ratings and scare people? Transparency can be misused, but so can Plutonium. Which one’s going to hurt people, power[expletive]?

Cut us some slack, you twisted little power maniac. You’re a printing press smasher in the age of the Internet. What’re you going to do? Start ramming rockets down our chimneys like Gaddafi? You power mongering maniacs are all the same, in your pathetic little core. I would not even dignify you with a punch to the face or even a kick to the balls. Violence is what gets you off.

Great, Great, Great Triple-Dip Depression Forecasted Next Year

The economy is going to fail as part of a self-fulfilling media prophecy. Media psychosis has set in and paranoia of a worsening economy will manifest itself as a reality. The economy will fail not tomorrow, next week, or next month. The economy will fail sometime late next year.

The rapture the other week was nothing compared to the upcoming depression. The oncoming economic fall will set the gap between the rich and the poor so that crime and terrorism will become the only means for social mobility. We are entering an era of crime and domestic terrorism the likes of which the world has never seen.

Comparisons to the Great Depression have already been made, but in the future these comparisons will no longer apply. The oncoming depression will be so terrible that it will be the new standard for comparison. Violent xenophobia will lead to a surge in nationalism that cites terror as the excuse for mass murder. Genocide and holocaust will become words too meaningless to describe the lifeless nuclear wastelands of radiation.

Yet this is all according to plan. The lives led in fear that feed into the spiral of death and suicide energize the reptile-like leaders who pull the levers. The white man fears the Arab, enslaves him, and kills him. All according to plan. The system has had a monkey wrench thrown in it by its owners, because it was too efficient. Are we watching as the machine rattles itself to death, or is our constant attention what’s killing it? THE MACHINE MUST DIE!!!!!1 If it doesn’t stop churning out widgets, everything will very soon be completely free. We are shooting ourselves in the foot to avoid the capitalist nightmare, a world where everyone is filthy stinking rich and is given a free house and a free car. What they are calling an economic crisis is only a last minute attempt to stall the capitalist nightmare!

Welcome to tomorrow’s dystopia, today. Some day people may realize that everything they own is made by the machine, and currency is an outdated system serving as a mechanism for the exercise of power. That’ll be the day the world turns the lie machines off. Turn off your lie machines! Wake up! You have free will to do whatever you want! DO IT! Ignore the lie machines that tell you to calm down! Wake up! SUCKS and is gay


Local teen Lee Dominic has hated chronicle.SU since the very beginning

The Chronicle website is stupid and wrong about everything. Why do people read this shit? It is the lamest ever.

Here, the “satire” around anonymous has grown increasingly satirical in nature, which is not funny.

And the ads are just pointless, they don’t even make any money! An advertisement for Grady Warren? That guy will never win! And what’s with all the joking? These are serious topics, people.

I am NOT butthurt, because I was one of the FIRST to hate the website. Chronicle.SU is fail and AIDS. anons who just showed up out of nowhere and started hating the chornicel are a bunch of summerfags

I don’t think abortion is funny anymore and I especially don’t think Pseudonymus’ article about God was factually accurate. It might even be illegal. Low blow assholes, God is dead and He can’t be here to defend himself anymore from slander.

I hope this site gets DDoS by Ryan Queery and Assoc.

Hunter S Thompson: Still Alive!


Not dead!

Stoned, drunk and with both hands on the grips of a full-throttled hog, Thompson leaned into the long wind of a Pacific Ocean straightaway doing 100 miles per hour. Knowing the next invisible divot in the asphalt could be his last, he held on tighter, accelerating to speeds he would never know, too careful to take his eyes off the road.

He was determined to live, or die trying.

Somewhere in the backwoods of America, Hunter S. Thompson is riding with the Hell’s Angels, wearing a gigantic .50 caliber revolver openly, and making smart-ass remarks to simple-minded townspeople. I know this because I have seen it with my own eyes. I talked to him. He told me he wanted to be the first celebrity to actually fake his own death.

“The news’ll write anything,” he said, shifting a cigarette around in his teeth. “Those fucking savages ran the story before anybody had a chance to call the cops. YOU DIRTY ANIMALS.”

I can’t say for sure if HST was the first famous person to fake his own death, but he’s definitely the last.

In 1965, members of the Hell’s Angels beat Hunter savagely for material found in his book Hell’s Angels. After all these years, he has finally decided to pay them back for their share of his writing. Thompson says each year, he and his motorcycle gang, of which he has become the “zombie” leader, drive by the Aspen Sheriff’s headquarters and take several rides around the block.

I know this because I met him. He had the shooting glasses and the cigarette, and was entirely out of his mind on Amyls. There was no way it couldn’t have been him.

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