Obama kicks off his campaign for reelection

Osama bin Laden

"You're fired."

Osama Bin Laden has been assassinated by the United States Government under the command of Nobel Peace Prize laureate Barack Hussein Obama. President Obama strategically timed this announcement in order to hurt the ratings of Donald Trump’s reality television show. Trump’s comb-over has recently forced the president of the United States to release his long-form birth certificate, riding a populist wave of racial hatred. Trump has used reality television to leverage his position as front runner for 2012 Republican candidacy. This announcement is a blow aimed directly at Donald Trump’s dick. A crowd was planted outside the White House with cameras at the ready, conditioned to maniacally chant their nationalist fervor. 2011 will be remembered as the year in which television replaced reality.

Talking heads repeat the phrase “Bin Laden is dead” as Americans everywhere get hard-ons in anticipation of the moment when Obama will utter the phrase himself. Speculation on Al-Qaeda’s reprisal is used to strike fear into our hearts, a dangling reminder of the horrific images from 9/11. The terror threat level has been raised for the first time in years, in preparation for this incredibly important news. Terror is back, and it’s here to stay. Break out the American flag, because the fight is on.

Osama bin Laden is a figure who became irrelevant at least four years ago. His death is not a national security issue, it is a publicity stunt. Many believe that Bin Laden has, in fact, been dead for years from natural causes. Obama’s policy of death in Libya has been met coldly by his supporters until now. The masses now cry out in celebration for death.

Obama has already submitted a new schematic for the Oval Office that will allow him to maximize enjoyment of his next five years in office. The Oval Office is being converted into a propaganda machine full of gearboxes, timing belts, and terror-alert graphical representations – surrounding a hollow core in which Obama sits, naked, issuing liquid ideology from his pores which evaporates into hot air and is then blown miles into the sky.

Obama’s rhetoric was little more than a base appeal to emotions that heartlessly described the imagery of 9/11. There is no doubt that this self-satisfied speech will be repeated on the campaign trail hundreds of times. Nearly a million Muslims have been killed in revenge for 9/11, but the death of Bin Laden has justified it all. Obama concluded his speech with an invocation to the Christian God of America. Tea Party members are still convinced that Hussein is a secret Muslim.

The United States Government Is Completely Irrelevant

The American Revolution is Inevitable

Historically, America has been a model for Democracy and the Western way of life. But we’ve lost our national identity to enablers who gave corporations carte blanche at the Bank of American Dreams. That’s okay. It happens. That’s the end result of Capitalism. They got all our money. They’re not going to give it back. That is a fact we have to accept which can’t be changed.

Further deterioration of our standard of living can be prevented, however, but it’s going to take “something bigger” than simply electing a new guy in 2012.

To avoid total collapse of the American nation, Americans need to overthrow their government, which is now extensively corrupt, harmful and irrelevant.

Capitalism is fine, but the United States Government is not. It must come down.

The American Dream should not belong only to the elite, but high-ranking government officials created the conditions allowing corporate entities to absorb so much money, there is not enough left to run a business, much less turn a profit. Starting a small business is virtually impossible. Even as the Federal Reserve prints more money it can’t substantiate, that new cash finds its way not into the federal budget, not into your paychecks, not in the form of an economic stimulus package, but into the vacuum of corporate will, forcing inflation.

America is in the exact same place as Egypt before Egypt’s revolution and will ultimately be forced to follow their model, military-based interim government and all.

The media is not going to do it for you. There will be no reality TV show called “Protesters,” where the stars conspire to revolt all the while taking your emotional housewives on a spiritual journey into their own ugly centers. The TV news won’t even acknowledge a revolution until it’s right outside their doors, and God only knows the spin they’re going to put on it for you middle-aged couch-dwellers out there.

So you are on your own with your decision to stay put or to act. But you can rest assured, that regardless of your choice, you will not be alone; and should you choose to act on the purest of impulses – to see justice brought to our corrupt leaders – you will be joined not by tens of thousands, but a half-million or more good, Democracy-loving Americans just like yourselves.

Using the Egyptian model, change is within reach. The American military is comprised of our brothers, sisters, children, friends and parents who wish to see the best for America, not corrupt politicians; and like Egypt, will continue to protect the country, even if a murderous career liar happens to hold office.

The only reason Egypt hasn’t yet fully come around is because they’re still trying to draft a Constitution. Americans love their Constitution, inasmuch as the Federal Government allows us to use it.

Therefore, every 10,000 protesters on the streets will be matched by 100,000 who, from their PCs and recliners, may wish the revolutionaries well, and pray silently to God activism doesn’t shut down the Internet.

If American leadership refuses to use the tools voted into their hands, then there is no other solution than to empty every seat in the House, Congress and Senate, and clear out the White House – and also their bank accounts – where at least a portion of your money sits, awaiting reclamation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness- That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed – That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of those ends, it is Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

-Declaration of Independence (more abused than my semi-colons)

Anonymous leadership squelches discussion of AT&T

Or AnonOps moderators ban the word ‘Sony’



Today, AnonOps came back online. I decided to pay them a visit. I attempted to discuss the most current Supreme Court case. It was about how AT&T forced users of their information network into a terrible contract. This contract forbids class action lawsuits. PSN users unknowingly agreed to a similar contract.

Here are some rules for AnonOps:

I entered Anonymous AnonOps IRC after reading these very clear rules. I went to #OperationPayback because they care about free speech. To me, collective lawsuits are an important part of free speech. They allow me to join up with other users of an information network and get my payback when that information network has done me wrong. AT&T has faced a collective lawsuit for charging people a fee for nothing. Because of this Supreme Court ruling, that collective lawsuit is no longer valid. The lawsuit against Sony may be invalid also. It’s just too bad everyone who used AT&T agreed to terms of service that said they couldn’t sue AT&T. As if they had a choice! AT&T is about to buy T-Mobile. You’ll be able to pick between Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint. Do you think any of them will let you sue? I wanted to see what Anonymous #OperationPayback had to say.

Don’t be too quick to judge this. I know I called Tony_The_Tiger a fucking cunt ass. He’s a bot and had it coming. I was later informed that I was banned for saying the word Sony and that Nessuno, the moderator, was very upset with me. This was simply because too many “Sonyfags” had flooded their channel complaining about how they didn’t like what Anonymous AnonOps had done. According to Anonymous someone, “fag” is a term of endearment among Anons. I have begun to think that “Sonyfag” isn’t a term of endearment at all. In fact, I think that Anonymous someone actually means to put a negative connotation onto homosexuality. Oh dear, how shocking. I thought anyone could join AnonOps Anonymous, but now I realize that “Sonyfags” aren’t even allowed to speak their opinions. I quickly reported this freedom of speech problem to #AnonNews. Perhaps I shouldn’t have expected a higher level of freedom from a news outlet.

Well, I guess Nessuno is running the show. No “Sonyfags” allowed. In fact, no one who says anything Anonymous Nessuno doesn’t want to hear. I’ll admit it. I’m mildly butthurt that you’d say no one listens to me anymore. Only because I think you’re wrong, Nessuno. In the past week I’ve been called a representative of Anonymous by CNET. And I was defending AnonOps Anonymous, not controlling them! On top of that, I’ve even provided the valuable service of calling for a class-action suit against Sony the day before it was filed. This lawsuit will be associated with the name AnonOps Anonymous forever. I know Anonymous AnonOps doesn’t care about getting good press, but I care. You’re welcome, Nessuno Anonymous.

Thanks to Sony’s terms of anal rape and the precedent reached in the Supreme Court on AT&T, the lawsuit may fail. But you don’t care, Anonymous Nessuno. You’d just rather not have someone come around criticizing you for controlling speech. I heard you’re raging mad. So sorry.

After being banned so quickly from #OperationPayback and #AnonNews, I had a nice chat with a fellow who goes by e. He made a few veiled threats about censoring the Chronicle, but I believe they were all in good humor. I got the impression that among AnonOps mods, not everyone is into guys like Nessuno. Oops…

In conclusion, if “Sonyfags” want to join AnonOps, why ban them? Let them create anti-anonymous operations. I’m sure they’ll do fine. There certainly isn’t a leadership that keeps AnonOps Anonymous on any particular track. That much is clear.

I poke fun at Anonymous. Okay, I viciously lie about Anonymous. But what’s wrong with that? It’s all in good fun. I also viciously lie to take down the enemies of Anonymous. I honestly feel like AnonOps OperationPayback Nessuno Anonymous has done a lot of great things and has more in store.

Anonymous vaporizes Sony, targets AT&T

Today the Supreme court voted along party lines to destroy consumer rights. The majority-holding republicans voted down a case that would allow class action lawsuits against corporations. It upholds the legality of contracts which force consumers into arbitration. Arbitration is a process through which big businesses anally rape the general public. The class action suit against AT&T reached the supreme court over a $30 fee that is still unexplained. The message from the Supreme Court is clear. Corporations can force you into a contract, take away your right to sue, and charge you a fee for it. And then anal rape you, and charge you an anal rape fee.

As soon as their pawns in the Supreme Court upheld corporate hegemony, AT&T revised its terms of service to give themselves the power to anal rape more viciously.

Not all is lost. Sonygate has prompted a democratic uprising for corporate justice. A lawsuit has been filed against Sony, which also includes forced anal rape in its terms of service. The behavior of Sony and AT&T may shift public opinion against corporations in a profound way.

Senator Blumenthal and Representative Johnson have introduced legislation that will fix the rule of law to make anal rape illegal. The legislation will disallow forced arbitration by terms of service, opening all corporations to class action lawsuits. Chronicle.SU opinion polls show that 99% of citizens believe that corporations should not be allowed the right to anal rape.

Meanwhile, Anonymous is organizing a DDoS that will disable AT&T’s call network to finally get revenge on smug iPhone users. In 1990, AT&T wrongly blamed a network outage on hackers, a move that led to the arrest of hundreds of hackers. Anonymous does not forget.

UPDATE: AT&T moves forward their plans on acquiring T-mobile to crush competition and consumers underneath their mighty feet.

My ideal president

I’d like to see a President self-destruct once in office.

The ideal President would/is/does:

  • Tear the oval office apart in fits of rage
  • Listen to Electric Wizard
  • Kick secretaries in the face
  • not try to conceal one blowjob, but demand them every hour, on the hour
  • drinks heavily
  • even uses cat tranquilizers and PCP
  • fights police
  • hates women
  • has kids and collects child support from his ex-wife
  • loses control in front of audiences and repeatedly uses racial epithets to describe his corporate bosses
  • liberal jew media
  • goes to visit his brother in prison, because he really, truly cares.
  • sleeps until 1 p.m. and plays Call of Duty for three hours before getting dressed for work
  • Doesn’t go to work
  • Ignores major responsibilities
  • eliminate deficit
  • acquire new, larger defecit

Reddit and Anonymous under attack, Sony suspected

Sonygate has sparked yet more cyber war. The popular social-hyperlinking site Reddit has featured a front page heavily dominated by bad press for Sony. Reddit has become a horrible reflection of the public relations nightmare facing Sony. Tens of thousands of angry comments expressing frustration for Sony’s lack of transparency and mishandling of public relations are now unavailable due to an apparent attack. Meanwhile, the IRC servers that give a centralized meeting point for the Anonymous collective also appear to be under attack. Both services may be available to some users but with greatly diminished functionality.

These apparent attacks could possibly be a direct action of Sony. Imagine that Sony transferred money to a third party that was opposed to Anonymous. There are many groups and individuals who have remained loyal to Sony and continue to believe the lie that Anonymous is actually to blame. This third party could then transfer the funds to criminal hackers, most likely in Eastern Europe, in exchange for access to a bot-net. A bot-net is a network of computers created by a computer worm that gives the owner the ability to overwhelm specific targets and deny service to normal users.

It is probable that AnonNews.org and even Chronicle.SU will come under attack in the very near future. While Sony has likely made sure that blame cannot be traced back to them, public opinion is against them. Sony’s attempt to squelch negative material is just the type of behavior that has spurned customers to file a lawsuit earlier today.

Remove all money from Congressmen, Senators and Presidents

From this point forward, if and when you win an election, you give up your right to a bank account, to finances, etc.

Instead, you’re given a budget – all Senators the same budget, nothing exorbitant and obviously more than what you’ll need for air-fare, taxis, food and shelter.

But no more than that – and you don’t get control of those funds, as few and meager as they are, our funds are still worth protecting from you.

And there’s a cap on what you can spend in order to get elected to begin with.

You’re given a retirement that matches not a percentage of what you’ve made – but an allowance that is voted on by the people and the presidents and averaged between the votes. This retirement allowance will bestow unto you all the comforts an outgoing president deserves, and more, and adjust with inflation.

The only difference is, you don’t get to keep the money you made before getting into office. Combining the asborbtion of all prior funds (back into the system you work for) with a campaign finance-cap deters even the snakiest of money-tricks used to manipulate elections and obstruct justice that might otherwise lead us back to true democracy, by the people, for the people.

These tricks include, but are not limited to:

Enslavement of the American people by:

  • supplanting political conviction with poisonous (pro-ignorance) ideology

This aids and is achieved by:

  1. negatively affecting the outcome of elections by:
  2. allowing corporate funding to cross over into political campaigns


  1. quietly degrades democracy
  2. bankrupts the American people – the foundation of the nation

Playstation Network users to file class action lawsuit

Today, Sony admitted that the recent breach in the Playstation Network compromised the personal information of its users. The information they fumbled includes full names, home addresses, birthdays, e-mails, logins, and passwords. While Sony has not been forthcoming about the safety of credit card information, they have admitted to the strong probability that this has also been compromised. Sony recommends that customers check their credit report. We must conclude the PSN credit card database has been entirely compromised, otherwise Sony would never ask its customers to check their credit reports.

Sony’s incompetence has led to the collective loss of privacy for 69 million people on PSN. It is safe to assume that this will most likely lead to financial losses in a significant proportion that may already be targets of identity theft and phishing. Even in the unlikely event that the credit card information is proven safe, PSN users have been the victims of Sony’s destructive incompetence. Representatives of the 69 million Playstation Network users are to file a class-action suit shortly. Sony will pay for the damages they have incurred. The masses will not be satisfied with small PSN trifles in exchange for network downtime. This is far beyond the scope of network downtime.

The lack of transparency Sony has shown is shocking. It is apparent that they have no regard for their own users and plot each statement carefully just to set up profitable public relations. The most likely scenario is that Sony has known all the facts for weeks. The DDoS attacks by Anonymous gave Sony their best chance to fix the situation quietly and without blame. However, Sony has misjudged the gullibility and timidity of their consumers. With the help of Anonymous, PSN users have angrily demanded answers to the right questions at the right time. Now they demand to be paid back for Sony’s failure. Anonymous is on the side of PSN users even though they were quick to wrongly blame Anonymous. Anonymous exists to make sure those who are damaged by Sony will be repaid. Anonymous will file the class action suit if no one else will. Many within Anonymous have also been harmed by Sony’s incompetence.



New Zealand’s “anti-piracy” law destroys net neutrality

New Zealand’s Parliament has done much more than outlaw the sharing of copyrighted material with their recently adopted legislative amendment.

The government must now force all internet service providers to police their user base for bit torrents. Aside from the immediate cost to service providers, this will have far-reaching economic effects. The slowed growth of internet infrastructure will ultimately hurt all of New Zealand’s online business. This is an affront to a nation that is faced with economic crisis.

This policing of “pirates” will destroy the individual rights to privacy of law abiding individuals. Bit torrents are home to vast quantities of perfectly legal material in the public domain. Those who use bit torrents for any kind of material will become subject to intense surveillance of all their internet activities.

Not stopping at torrents, those who simply use too much bandwidth will be first warned and then charged with steep fines. Under the guise of “anti-piracy,” New Zealand has thrown away net neutrality. On September 1st, 2011, bandwidth will become a taxable commodity for New Zealand.

This same tactic, if proven viable, will likely be applied by other governments all over the world.

PSN credit card database compromised

Two days after shutting down PSN, Sony admitted to an event they described as an “external intrusion.” A million rape jokes and three days later, Sony will not come clean about what this means for the millions of customers who have their credit card information stored on PSN. There is no way for Sony to confirm that their customers’ credit card information is safe. As per usual, Sony has remained silent in hopes that this will be forgotten. Anonymous does not forget.

Anonymous has been very clear that it is in no way responsible for the most recent attacks on Sony. However, Anonymous takes responsibility for forcing Sony to reveal that the security of PSN was compromised. Anonymous shed the shackles of the Low Orbit Ion Cannon by using their voice to convince otherwise indifferent masses into asking Sony the right questions at the right time. Sony has failed their customers in a more profound way than when they sued GeoHotz.

It is true that Sony could have profited by shutting down its servers at a time when they knew Anonymous would take the blame. Now that Sony has admitted this isn’t the case, the consumers must ask what this means to their individual security. If I had made the mistake of giving Playstation Network my credit card information, I would be maxing the fucker out. Beats the shit out of paying for someone else’s hookers!

Anonymous may have spoiled gaming for a  day with the Low Orbit Ion Cannon and then made a fool of themselves with a Facebook Event that went south. But on the other hand, Sony has spoiled gaming for 5 days and accidentally dropped the credit card dox on all their own customers.