A million people refuse to pump gas on April 15th

…And the other 310 million people don’t even care, because boycotting gasoline for a single day is like trying not to take a shit for a day. You’ll just do it tomorrow.

“But, by boycotting gas on April 15th, we’re sending the big oil companies a message!”

Demand isn’t affected if you still use the same amount of gas as usual. Through what warped version of reality is that even considered a boycott? Sure, if any group of people refused to use gasoline for a day, that would reduce demand, because they’ve reduced their consumption habits. But simply changing the timing of your purchase is not a boycott at all.

The faux-boycott’s only logical source is the oil companies themselves. This April 15th “boycott” was set up as a publicity trick by oil companies. It is well known that when the weather turns nicer, demand for gas goes down. People can ride their bikes to work and enjoy it. On top of that, people who do drive are getting better mileage because they aren’t using heat or air conditioning. Right now, oil prices have reached a peak. The faux-boycott gives the people who are angriest about the high prices an outlet to vent their frustrations and feel self-righteous without hurting the oil companies. When the prices inevitably fall, the people who participated in the “boycott” will feel justified, as if it was actually their own actions that caused the fall in price.

The oil companies are rich enough to afford social engineers that keep the human herd content with their prices. This faux-boycott has been employed many times and will probably resurface many more. In fact, even Anonymous is trig enough to use it on Sony. Since attacking PSN causes Anonymous to lose all support, they’ve turned to the same strategy of the oil companies. Hilariously, their “boycott” of Sony will occur on April 16th, the day after the biggest gas “boycott” in history. Since no one really cares about Sony, only a few thousand people are participating in this secondary faux-boycott.

Anonymous, you are my very personal army

Two weeks ago, I published my own “dox” on pastebin. Every time I make a comment or post an article, someone links to these “dox.” It gets funnier every time. Someone out there must think the “dox” are so embarrassing and discrediting. Well, the joke’s on you, Anonymous. You’re doing exactly what I want you to. You’re my personal army.

The e-mail is real, and I want the whole world to see it. The OKCupid is real too, but I dressed it up just for you before I posted it. Gave it the embarrassing feel of a real “doxing.” Everyone fell for it, too.

Thing is, some hacker publishing just one of my e-mails doesn’t make any sense at all. Anons really must not care to be analytical about anything and this is proof. Anyone who looked at the “dox” with even the slightest amount of critical thought would have seen instantly that it could have been posted by only one person. That’s me!

I really don’t give a shit what you think about my personal life. I couldn’t care less. You have no context to judge, and your childish name-calling has never once bothered me. Once again, you’ve done exactly what I wanted. I made Anonymous rabidly publicize a personal letter because the girl I wrote it to was a complete bitch to me. Now the whole world knows my side of the story, and it is all thanks to you.

Congratulations, Anonymous! You are my very personal army! Send me pizzas, I’m hungry. Send me strippers, I’m lonely. Give me a prank call, I want to hear from you. Send me boxes, I know who could use them. Hack my computer to pieces and find out how great I am. Deface this very article, it is backed up where you can never touch it. DDoS the Chronicle for as long as you want and give us more publicity. These are all things I want!

Whoever holds the keys to hate holds the keys to Anonymous, for it is all Anon knows. I am trollface, watch me grin. When will you find a way to take the lulz from me? Never, for I am your king!

Lagswitched by Anonymous

Today, gamers everywhere were unable to get totally pwnd by flying lagswitchers who use auto-aim scripts to score headshots every time. Anonymous has taken the age old rivalry between hackers and gamers to the largest possible scale and blown it for both sides. In what is spun by Anon Propaganda Sources as an act meant to defend hacker freedom, Anonymous has revoked the internet for all Playstation 3 consoles. For some who are too afraid to jailbreak their console and too dumb to use a PC, PSN is the only way to access the internet. Gamers have been left with no other recourse but to failtroll AnonNews and AnonOps.

Don’t get me wrong. The problem that Anonymous faces is not the minor hypocrisy of denying PSN filtered internet to mindless joystick jerkers. Anon has become confused and DDoSed when they really meant to lagswitch and grief, along with other long proven methods for ruining games. Maybe PSHome is in need of some poolside Afro loving. But no, thanks to DDoS fixation, Anonymous has committed the vile hypocrisy of ruining griefing for their own kind. I encourage all Anons to flood PSN with real ruination and hate. Get some true lulz out of this horse before it dies. Sony is scum.

Sony’s team of flunky executives has decided they will get a good profit margin on their attorneys’ salaries by going after the genius of George Hotz. Because GeoHot’s academic pursuits have defeated all software piracy safeguards, he is to blame for all piracy and must pay for every game ever pirated. When Apple claimed that they own your iPhone forever, it just did not stand up in court. Big businesses have become so crooked that they no longer want to sell you a product that works on its own. They just want to rent you a product that rents you more products. George Hotz took it upon himself to expose this farce and now Sony wants him to pay up. Any reasoning person can conclude that Sony owes George Hotz millions of dollars for his research. Sony is responsible for making PSN so shitty that the LOIC is more fun than Call of Duty: Black Ops. Point and shoot. Point and shoot. Point and shoot. Point and shoot.


Fucking Pseudonymous Pwnd!


I think it’s springtime, but I’m not sure. The weather forecast is three days of rain at fifty degrees. My forecast only goes out three days, so it could be more than that.

I was thinking about the holocaust, Judas sampler when four priests approached me to explain the sins of our fathers on a rainy street corner. They said he’d give me eternal life if I just repent, and I told them that’s not long enough. Of course, I don’t buy their lies anyway. It’s cheaper to think alone.

I mean drink alone. That’s what I do, maybe an unequal amount of either. Of course, then again, we all know the truth about alcohol. What makes us forget is the reason we want to forget anything at all.

Demon poison! My only issue sometimes is that I wake up, that I can’t drink myself into an eternal slumbering stupor. Just forced to suck in the rain, the grayness and fog when I wake up at 8 p.m. and my body wants to watch TV and my mind craves the Internet and neither are satisfied by the actions of the other and I can’t drink anymore and there’s only a bit of weed left before I run out and my paychecks aren’t deep enough to sustain this habit. I may just move out. Live in the truck.

Just a fantasy. I can’t live in a vehicle. I enjoy private restrooms too much.

And then I’m back to where I started. God damn. I can’t deal with it much longer. I feel like I’m going to go crazy, man. Literally crazy, like madness and all.

I suffer from a genetic malaise of general complacency, a lack of desire to come up any higher than I am – not desire, but will. The right, or rather the wrong, instincts to drive forward instead of parking to nap. Drive, always driving. When I get in that mindset I am all gears turning. The next day, one turns. Some days, no turning at all. Some days, only depression. Others, mania. Up and down, I go back and forth and I used to think writing my way in and out of these problems was both cause and solution but I see now it’s a condition that follows me always. I will never make it out alive. Never.

I have to! But I won’t.

People die, dreams undone – will that be me? Is it already? Who am I? Who wasn’t I?

Jesus God! Will it ever end? This depression, I want only to sleep. I crave peace and comfort, warmth and tranquility. I need her shoulder back to lie on, where I felt so strong without it, but when I had it – now there is only weakness.

For all the money in the world I would give up to live the life of subtle zen, of marijuana and videogames and rejecting good sex because I was more obliged to my sloth-like tendencies from which I now suffer endlessly. I am just tired and weak nowadays, like a sickness has grabbed a hold of me and wants to make me its bitch.

How can I work around it? How will I come out of it?

I need a nap.

Reporting from the front lines of the World Cyber War

There really is no historical context that adequately frames the World Cyber War. The warriors are disparate and their numbers are unclear. The tactics are most often symbolic, but sometimes vicious and personal. The target is usually an establishment but occasionally an individual. Governments, corporations, and even fringe religious cults have found themselves under constant symbolic threat representative of massive public distrust and disgust. Anyone who angers the population enough will fall symbolic prey, hated by mankind. This phenomenon is known as Anonymous.

Anonymous has become increasingly fractured because of its anarchic and nihilistic origin. The users who try to define this anarchy are known among Anons as moralfags. They attempt to influence the creation of a political cult around promises of utopia. These moralfags use the oxymoronic ideology of anarchy to control others. Several splinter groups have tried and failed to hijack Anonymous in this way and a few have succeeded in some small measure. Still, true Anarchy seems to have stayed decidedly on top of the moralfags. This is evidenced by the recent DDoS attacks on AnonNews from a massive bot-net comprised of over 4,000 machines. No credit has been taken for the attack because the attackers are not moralfags and the action speaks for itself. AnonNews has long been a source for propaganda of all kinds. By its very nature, propaganda is the weapon of the moralfag. Only Chronicle.SU has turned propaganda into a tool to destroy propaganda.

The news feed on the Internet is not a simple 24 hour cycle like with papers and television. It is a behemoth so starved for information that it eats its own diarrhea to keep itself fed. Can Anonymous blame us for gleefully feeding this monster poison? When we claimed AnonNews was run by the US Government, the story was copy-pasted to more than just a handful of news outlets. The photoshopped image of a fed Anon behind a podium was photoshopped and then photoshopped again. Some people actually seemed to accept that AnonNews really was run by the Government.

AnonNews probably isn’t run by the government, but it’s a lot like any other propaganda outlet. It is a source for misinformation and ideology to be ingested into the diarrhea eating beast. Only Chronicle.SU is willing to stand up to this beast and feed it poison. I was paid for this service by having my personal information, my dox, published on AnonNews. It is  my guess that this is why AnonNews suffered such a vicious DDoS attack just a few hours after my personal information was published on their site. Yes, I just claimed partial responsibility for the recent DDoS attack on AnonNews. You have my dox. Call the cops on me. I dare you.

I’ve shamelessly inserted myself and my opinions into nearly every piece of writing about Anonymous. Now I do it with righteous purpose exposed. I got doxed and I deserved it. I engineered it by becoming an enemy to Anonymous. There are conspiracy theories about the nature of Chronicle.SU all over the internet. Some have theorized we are an experiment at manipulation from NewsMax or the US Government. Many have shared the belief that we are in fact being paid a lot of money to do what we do. I have only been paid by having all my most personal information published. To me, this is payment enough.

Posted via pastebin straight to the news feed at AnonNews.org, my dox were perhaps the most vicious piece of media to ever grace AnonNews. It was personal, misguided, and outright hateful. The link to my dox and all other dox were removed before AnonNews went back up. These were the stones hurled at Wilbur Mercer as he summited the metaphorical mountain of human struggle. With me as substitute for Mercer, the collective has felt pain for the first time. The collective has begun to learn empathy.

This is Anonymous on Politics

ANON NEWS WORLD–Today, “dox” were dropped on the wrong John Rubenstein. In lay-speak that means the e-mail address, home address, and home phone number of John Rubenstein from Backtrace Security was published. Thing is, we contacted the John Rubenstein who owned the published phone number, a retired man aged 83. He is very concerned about ever being able to contact his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren again. His phone has been ringing into the night, but he continues to answer, eagerly hoping each young voice is one of his grandchildren. He had never heard of Backtrace Security until we mentioned it. He has since unplugged all his phones.

You see, Backtrace is just trying to imprison Anon’s most hated enemies. Leaders. These leaders have led naive adolescent Anons to make enemies of the US Military, foreign powers and dangerous legal entities like Scientology and the Westboro Baptist Church. They deserved to get “doxed” too. Backtrace is the chaos fighting back, the act of someone who was prepared for the wrath of Anonymous. Like us here at the Chronicle, the only retribution Anonymous can inflict upon Backtrace will skyrocket the right John Rubenstein into the exosphere of success.

You’re an Anon. Let’s face it, no one understands you. No one except Chronicle.SU. No one outside gets the world inside of the internet, the hivemind. It is not just one collective, but thousands of permutating spinoffs of the most active and savvy users. It is clear that some political actions have begun to manifest through what is called “Anonymous.” We here at the Chronicle mock and ridicule this so-called “hactivism” because we can. We don’t believe you’re activists, or even hackers. You are mostly glorified spammers and trolls who can rarely succeed without help from others. Now you’re too dumb to even realize it, but people like Barrett Brown try to steal the name of Anonymous and attach their individual ideas on top of it. Most of them are admins continuously correcting others in IRC. When they can’t correct someone’s ideas, they kick or ban them and call them a troll. If you hadn’t noticed, the views of the Chronicle are completely contradictory, subversive and chaotic. Our primary goal is to destroy anyone who would become a leader in Anonymous. Anonymous is not a meritocracy, it is chaos being hijacked for Politics.

We created Chronicle.SU nearly 5 years ago for teh lulz. We still stick to the lulz, but we have found a higher level of lulz based on the moral principle of destroying morals within anonymous. Morals are the symptom of leadership and not a reflection of a consensus. It’s okay that we have leaders. We’re not the same kind of beast that Anonymous is. The problem with leaders in Anonymous is that the sheep don’t even realize when they are being led. Sure you have the option not to participate, but don’t so many Anons just use LOIC out of boredom? Anons are always shopping for targets and doing it using the world’s largest honeypot IRC server. I urge all Anons under the age of 18 to refrain from participating in anonymous. Remember, your parents will bear ultimate responsibility when the Party Van comes. Yes, that is correct. Your parents will be V& with you. You are days, weeks, or months away from mass Vannings in America. The die has been cast!


Backtrace Security unleashes true anarchy upon Anonymous

Increasingly purposeful and socially active, Anonymous has allegedly and finally turned its hate machine against itself. No longer chaotic or anarchic, some “oldfags” have become disillusioned with the state of Anon. One ex-member that goes by the pseudonym of “Hubris” has infiltrated what used to be Anonymous and claims to have achieved what Aaron Barr only dreamed of doing. Hubris has formed an organization called “Backtrace Security” which has threatened to publish the personal information of Anons who led many operations deemed “moralfaggotry.” It is readily apparent that Anonymous now stands for what Anonymous once hated. For those who have been long involved, there are very few lulz to be had. Little more than a Legion of fail hackers who aren’t even very good troll food, the final division has arrived.

The sub-set of Anonymous consisting of “moralfag” script kiddies are too afraid to DDoS Wisconsin’s government web sites. This Anonymous has become so truly irrelevant that participation can only drop off massively. Hubris, who thinks he has found a viable business model by taking advantage of stupid kids will also be in for a shock. Backtrace security may find that no one will want to pay an anonymous individual who only deals in betrayal.

All layers of Anonymous have been hit with waves of paranoia that are masked with hopes that this is more Anon-trolling. Some refuse to propagate the fear and consider Backtrace an act of hilarious trolling meant to discredit Forbes. The most hopeful Anons believe that Hubris is just another of Kilgore Trout’s many alternate identities. Kilgore Trout was reached for interview, but made no comment. Hubris, however, was reached. He commented to Chronicle.SU with the famed line: “I did it for the lulz.”


Why the “Tea Party Nation” is Completely Irrelevant

Here, we see our founding fathers dressed in racially insensitive mock-native garb. The crowds cheer on as they waste perfectly good tea. In America, we drink coffee.

The discussion at Tea Party Nation’s forum is so controlled by hateful moderators that there is in fact no discussion at all. This is why the “forum” is in fact closed to the public. “Forum” is a poor excuse for a Judson Phillips’ personal social media outlet. Sure, the vestiges of a fair forum are retained, and quickly buried by Judson Phillips. It is by design. Judson Phillips has a team that churns out a large quantity of vapid and incredibly short messages meant to keep the Tea Party updated on how to think about every single issue.

The recent attacks by Anonymous induced a war of lies between the two entities similar to the Westboro Baptist situation. It will never be clear who initiated the media shitstorm. All that is known is that both Judson Phillips and Anonymous have been benefited with free publicity out of the new internet hate-machines that are built to pit themselves against one another covertly and without repercussion.

Usually I disagree when Anonymous takes actions against such irrelevant groups, but this time I feel quite satisfied. Too long has the Tea Party condescended the world with their self righteous version of common sense. In their mind, they have divine consent to rule. This is the kind of common sense that condones and actively creates death and slavery. I will stoop to the level of Anonymous. Fuck Tea Party Nation. No one cares except your little cult.

The cowards on the forum immediately report any idea that is in disharmony with Judson Phillips’ brilliant messages. They are tattle tales. He has a small book of slogans and a team that applies it to events in real-time. Tea Party Nation is a brainwashing outfit. They cater to fringe elements of society who are fanatically resistant to our President. Their core platform is the belief in conspiracy theories. They close their forums to hide it from the world, and immediately kick anyone who disagrees in the slightest.

One day, the Tea Party dreams of a Berlin Wall across the Mexican Border with armed guards. However, the party is just politically correct enough to hold back from dressing up like Mexicans and burning down buildings that were built by Illegal Immigrants. Racial epithets, however, they are NOT above.

Tea Party Nation is a humble grassroots endeavor. At it’s founding fundraiser party, 600 supporters showed up. This doesn’t quite compare to the marches on the Capitol building in Madison, but the activists at Tea Party Nation paid $549 to attend a speech by Sarah Palin that cost the Tea Party $100,000. There is plenty of money to throw around for the Tea Partiers. Although the event was untaped and held in secret, an informant from Anonymous has provided proof that Palin actually stopped speaking twice in mid-speech to have txt fights with her daughter.

This is indicative of a man who believes that only property owners should be allowed to vote. Am I surprised that I was censored by someone who doesn’t believe I should be able to vote? Of course not. Judson Phillips is an enemy of Democracy and he even says so in the most explicit terms possible. This is why Tea Party Nation is irrelevant: Chronicle.SU gets more traffic. He has thrown away his fortune for a vile ignored little corner of the internet that only affects seething rageheads. Tea Party Nation is a hatemagnet. “Tea Party Nation,” FAIL.

Dear Anonymous, you will ALL be V&!

you will be vanned