Boycott Student Loans

Found yourself struggling to find work after college? Paying off loans while living at home, and unable to afford your own life?


The SWAT team will come to your house and kick down the door, and then choke-slam your ex into their police car and lock the door for a few hours.

You are being extorted

Education doesn’t cost this much. The secret police cannot extort us all at once.

Don’t Pay

You will be able to move on with your life, even as you are forced into underemployment. It is your right to be free from indentured servitude. Sadly, this has become what education is all about.

You are not a slave to your education


Anonymous completely infiltrated by FBI and Secret Service, Iran promises Cyber War, and the LulzBoat sails on

Rather than making mass arrests that would force hackers into hiding, the FBI and Secret Service have been quietly knocking on doors and making threats. Eric Corley of 2600: Hacker Quarterly claims 25% of all hackers in the US are working as informants for the FBI. Mass hacker arrests will surely come sooner than later. 2600′s IRC servers have recently been DDoSed by LulzSec over a Twitter spat with Martijn Godlang, a hacker who bungled a LOIC DDoS attack by accidentally targeting a Dutch Government web server.

The revelation of such pervasive infiltration has not been fully digested by what remains of Anonymous. AnonNews is currently down because of unexplained DNS issues, but is still accessible at Barrett Brown commented for us just days before he left his position as the spokesperson for Anonymous, “They  have the right to decide if they want to get involved with Anonymous, knowing full well that the FBI is looking into us.”

Today, Persian state servers were taken over by Anonymous. A message from the Persian military threatened offensive action in retaliation. “The instruments required for the presence in cyber space are being prepared by the Defense Industries of the Islamic Republic of Iran,” said Brigadier General Ahmad-Reza Pourdastan. It appears that the Persian Military believes Anonymous is only a proxy for the United States government.

LulzSec recently accessed Infragard’s user database. Infragard is an information sharing service for the FBI and private security companies. Members of LulzSec attempted to extort information and money from the CEO of Unveillance, Karim Hijazi, leveraging embarrassing data from Infragard. According to LulzSec, Hijazi used the same password for Infragard as he did for Unveillance. The “extortion” was only intended to troll Hijazi into revealing his willingness to comply with threats.

LIGATT Security’s Gregory Evans claims to have the dox on LulzSec, which he will publish sometime in the near future. Evans cites the attack on the FBI as his primary motivation in doxing LulzSec.


Washington Post Commits Libel – CPS threatens to take dancing children away


Child Protection Service “Not Doing Enough.”


Dancing at the Memorial of a Slave Owner

Washington Post Smears Avowed Socialists As Libertarians, “Pro-Family” Tourists Claim Threats of Child Protective Custody “Not Enough” To Deter Protesters

Saturday, around 50 people held a demonstration through dance at the Jefferson Memorial in southern Washington, D.C., which overlooks the Potomac River. Over 2,000 people had testified on Facebook that they would show up, but these testimonials apparently turned out to be the Internet’s letting off steam.

A week before, U.S. Park Police arrested five protesters for silently dancing in the memorial, which they did in response to the April 12, 2008 arrest of Mary Oberwetter, a 28-year-old D.C. resident, who was eventually charged with “interfering with agency functions.” The video of recent arrests received in its first 24 hours well over 100,00 views and, at the time of this writing, nearly 900,000.


Russia Today journalist and 2010 House Candidate Adam Kokesh, a self-described Ron Paul Republican, found himself thrown to the ground and, briefly, even choked, last weekend for dancing, as he said, in celebration of the principles of Thomas Jefferson.

Recently, The Washington Post ran a consensus editorial

claiming that by silently dancing in the memorial, the protesters had in fact justifiably invited their booking and whatever force shown to them. “If it goes anything like previous [protests], it will not be pretty,” wrote the Post’s editors, adding, “And that won’t be the fault of the U.S. Park Police.” However, Saturday’s protest did go a great deal better than the previous weekend’s. There was no resorting to direct violence, but in the face of protesters already backed off to the steps of the memorial, where the Post’s editors swore back and forth that “anyone is free to polka,” police were in fact brandishing automatic rifles.

Speaking on the steps of the memorial just minutes before the noon start of the demonstration, Medea Benjamin, co-founder of activist group Code Pink and one of the five arrested the previous week, lamented that the “pursuit of happiness” advertised in the Declaration of Independence, authored largely by Jefferson, was outside the prerogative of the defense by Park Police in the memorial. She cited the unobtrusive nature of listening to headphones and silently dancing in commemoration of the declaration’s author.

The popularity of the subsequent video footage on Kokesh’s blog, “Adam Vs The Man” – even as other nonviolent protesters in Bahrain and Syria faced permanent injury if not total execution – displayed the degree to which the treatment of the protesters was clearly outraging many domestically.

The heart of the matter is a view of whether celebration of Jefferson’s ideals can even be done by dancing inside the memorial . Dancing is “distracting from the atmosphere of solemn commemoration,” agreed an appellate court with the original lower-court decision Kokesh et al were initially protesting. There seems to be an at least popularly-enough held skepticism that in fact any sort of dance-based celebration can even earnestly be done in honor of Thomas Jefferson. However, in the face of Jefferson’s legacy that people of the majority of ethnicities should live free or die, the brandishing of automatic rifles and tear gas canisters in the face of harmless expression seems a more serious defiling of that spirit of “solemn commemoration.”

The point of Americans who genuinely believe that dancing in a public memorial warrants its closing to the public, daresay violence against dancers, is that disbelief that the dancing is even being done in sincere celebration of the ideals of the First Amendment, an high-minded ideal that in reality has always been subject in one way or another to restrictions of minor status, obscenity, sedition or national security restrictions, or the general popularity of one’s ideas.

During the exchange with Benjamin, Tighe Barry, who was also one of the five arrested last week for dancing, said, “I think Jefferson would have said a long time ago that it’s time for government to grow up. If he were to spring up alive right now, he wouldn’t know what to make of any of this. I do know from the words that he said he would have changed the laws that are antiquated and outdated. He doesn’t seem like the person that would ever want a memorial that would be solemn and you have to come and pray to a certain god.”

Jefferson, on record discouraging celebrations of his birthday and whose grave marker does not mention his highest office of the presidency, is the figurative “god” to which Barry is saying that the courts’ decisions have demanded reverence.

The Washington Post’s editors would blatantly participate in libel against the protesters, saying “a group of self-proclaimed libertarians who decided to defy the court on Memorial Day weekend.” Barry and his girlfriend, Code Pink co-founder Medea Benjamin, are obvious socialists, as indicated by, among many things, their not-so-subtle habit of wearing pink clothing.

Barry would also fire back at the editorial’s charge that the “dancers’ energy and presumably good intentions would be better channeled by addressing real injustices.”

“I was in Tahrir Square [in Cairo, Egypt], looking – I was there for the entire revolution. I was looking for someone from The Washington Post editorial board to come out and say something about what was going on. And they waited and waited until the very last minute, when they figured out who was going to win and then they editorialized. You know, this is the Washington [Post] editorial board. You know, they need to straighten it out.”

After approximately 10 minutes of silently dancing, which began roughly around noon, a few more protesters immediately joined, apparently without any requests that they stop dancing. After another 10 minutes, approximately 50 people had joined in and were making their way in a conga line around the statue of Jefferson himself. Clearly upping the ante from the previous complaint that they had not been allowed to silently dance, the emboldened crowd began yelling slogans and cheering jubilantly, several chanting the text of the First Amendment. As the circular marchers made passes by, Kokesh stopped, roughly in front of me, and made a point of accepting handshakes from generally admiring co-protesters.

Recording video on phone, it was apparent that the initial discussed tactic of the police was to walk up to protesters and simply ask them to leave, if they felt like dancing. I didn’t hear any of those initial conversations up close, but their occurrence was apparent because individuals began asking others to not leave, because that’s, as some protesters loudly suggested, when the police would begin their arrests. No matter one’s conclusions about the rights of Kokesh et al and those of the original demonstrator, Oberwetter, to silently dance, by the time the monument was shut down a week after the first Kokesh protest, activists had chosen to turn their new demonstration into a markedly less silent one.

Without announcement, the police had put up a metal barrier at the entrance to the memorial, without any sort of public announcement. This tactic was effective insofar that it made it so that police didn’t have to block people, with their own bodies, from coming back in once they had left. However the tactic was not so effective because it also made it difficult to comply with their orders, once requested to do so. Once asked to leave, this reporter attempted to make his way out of the meter-wide gap in the barrier, only to find it impossible to get out through the line of camera-bearers all too intent on capturing more salacious police brutality, if in fact it went down.

Unable to make my way out of the gap, which I was facing, trying to push my way through, and refusing no request, a Park Police officer shoved this reporter into the crowd of not-budging cameramen. It was unnecessary force, but their motivations were clear enough. If the police did not apply at least a little unnecessary force this time, they stood to lose even more face than they obviously did last weekend, when as Kokesh said to RT, they were inundated with angry phone calls, which, he suggested, could have expedited the release of the libertarian and socialist protesters.

You can see it in my footage after I’m shoved: My hand is shaking. Memories of last week’s footage came back to me. While I never feared for an instant that, on account of the dancers, foreign tourists would think less highly of Jefferson or America, I did fear, perhaps irrationally, that police would begin a disastrous power trip that could end with a lot of hurt people. In light of  substantially more egregious civil rights abuses, it is easy to, as did The Washington Post, dismiss the cause of dancing in the Jefferson Memorial as trivial. The pretense of this solemnity enforcement is that it will stop ridicule of Jefferson or impress upon visitors an “appropriate” regard for the man, when the idea that a law can enforce such a genuine internal consideration is an illusion, a mirage.

As I reported

for The Buffalo BEAST back at Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial, the naïve idealism of some American Revolutionary revivalists is really quite striking. It is the product of a grade-school indoctrination Americans receive, one not unlike that of many country’s citizens regarding still-vogue leaders past. It reminded me of being in the 4th grade in a school in Virginia hearing my teacher ask, sure, slavery was bad, but what were some of its benefits.

I caught this same tone repeatedly at the Jefferson Memorial dance-off, between the chants of “TJ, TJ” and blood-boiled, screeching testimonials to Jefferson’s beyond-reproach character.

Last weekend, I was at the Mount Vernon home of the first constitutional president of the United States, George Washington, and in a line of tourists on the veranda. The lawn was quite vast, and the general had ordered his chattel slaves to have it cut with a scythe. Mind you, this was not a farming operation for the production of food; this was a prurient and petty exercise in aesthetics.

A guide was stationed out on the porch, with arm’s length of me.

“How many human beings did George Washington own? Eight hundred? A thousand?” I inquired, not stuttering, but the guide appeared mildly repulsed by the question, her chin pulling backwards in a kind of micro-whiplash, and then she asked me if I were asking about the general’s land-holding acreage, before I made a clarification, and she told me he owned more than 300 people.

It seems pretty clear that Jefferson would have been outrageously offended that people were facing police action, quite possibly to the point of advocating lethal-force resistance to the officers on the scene. Of course, this would have been and would be an evil mistake, but it goes to show the weakness of appealing to Jefferson’s authority itself to justify this resistance.

Somewhere around the 12:20 p.m. peak of the dancing, Kokesh stopped to face the throng of journalists, bloggers or onlookers to proclaim how acts of disobedience of this type were cardinal to bringing down the state. It was a thought-provoking comment.

After the event, Kokesh said that, were he only allowed to not pay taxes, he would gladly give up his claim of access to the memorial.

It was then, after police had forced everyone willing to go out, Kokesh was on the steps bull-horning back at the stragglers in the sanctum and their onlookers, proclaiming that “the people had won” and requested that no one risk arrest at that point. The police’s granting 30 minutes from dancing’s starting until my being asked to leave, at least individually as a bystander, seemed tacit acknowledgment of wrongdoing.

A group of tourists told me that if the protesters inside had truly wished to fight for freedom, they should simply enlist, presumably to go fight in missions like that most tolling in Afghanistan, where some recent polling has shown that 80 percent or more of men believe that the NATO mission is bad

for Afghans, and NATO forces openly refuse to comply with President Hamid Karzai’s demands that they stop air attacks on houses.,0,1448735.story

It was fascinating to see a conception that their own personal liberties were maintained through military operations in a country where soldiers are largely undesired, and whose actions are roundly condemned by the elected leadership in place.

By the refreshment stand near the Jefferson Memorial around 1 p.m., a mid-30s man was yelling at another at the top of his lungs, swearing upon “the altar of God” “eternal hostility” to that tourist, blaming him and his ilk, not the police, for the monument’s closing.

The tourist complained that foreign tourists, families, and his prepubescent son were not able to see the memorial they had traveled to view. He indicated that the dancer yelling at him believed that “his rights were more important than mine,” adding “[my family pays] the bills to keep that open. You got it closed. You people got it closed. Congratulations.”

“We families,” he would continue, “we get our rights violated because you insist on being a buffoon. That’s what happened. That’s what happened. My rights are more important because I have a right to go in there and enjoy the monument.” The tourist would personally charge that the law can enforce a “solemn atmosphere” in the monument.

The tourist’s blood still boiling, I attempted to get his consideration of the predicament of another protester’s, who had brought several of his young children. Police had told him that his children would be taken into protective custody if he stayed at the memorial. As that father stood far outside of the sanctum of the memorial, talking to his children, an officer approached them and said, “If you get caught up in the sweep, they go down also. It’s child services, just letting you know.”

The name of the man whose children were threatened is Abraham Wise.

I asked the tourist how exactly that officer’s request was in particular consideration of families. He did not answer the question, which encouraged me to ask him point-blank if indeed the protester’s children should have been placed into custody.

The frustrated tourist declined to answer this question directly but did indicate his sense that the police, who were carrying Armalite assault rifles in the face of dancing protesters, “didn’t do enough.”

As onlookers reacted belligerently to this claim, the tourist’s son said, “I’ve learned nothing from you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t show proper respect to your slave owner.”

LulzSec emulates the CIA but is not affiliated

In order to ensure maximum Lulz, LulzSec has manufactured a misinformation campaign using “dox” on pastebin to expose that they are working with the CIA and famed Bradley Manning snitch, Adrian Lamo. This “CIA project” is purportedly intended to tip the balance of public opinion against hackers. While this is possible, the outrageous public fear of hacking makes this unlikely. Such a ridiculous conspiracy may head off any future suspicion of LulzSec’s questionable motivations. The conspiracy is most likely concocted.

LulzSec has actually adopted the tactics of the CIA. The CIA has been known to pay off the Alex Jones radio show for spreading laughable conspiracies which disarm public suspicion in regards to the failures of FEMA after hurricane Katrina. The lovable LulzSec has, in fact, achieved massive success in emulating the CIA, rather than working with them. In this light, the pastebin “dox” are one of the best trollolols the intertits has ever seen.

After the Sony Fiasco led to a drop in support for Anonymous, LulzSec was likely invented to take credit for the hack ex post facto.

LulzSec appears to be related to the Ryan Cleary incident, which has already been forgotten. Ryan Cleary is a dissident hacker who attacked AnonOps and was subsequently ”doxed”. Some accuse Cleary of hacking Sony. However, Cleary is not facing any criminal charges and there is no evidence that he exists. AnonOps hackers may have engineered a false flag attack against their own servers under the name of Ryan Cleary, in hopes that the Sony hack would be credited to him. LulzSec is simply the logical conclusion to this chain of events – a hacker group that breaks all the non-existent unwritten rules of Anonymous in order to regain traction after the failure of #OpSony.



There’s no dancing at the Jefferson Memorial

The front line for highly suppressed dancing urges is now the Jefferson Memorial. While Jefferson can do nothing but preside over events silently, the US government has armed hundreds of Nazis to guard the monument with machine guns. This major effort is intended to forever prevent dancing and increase the decorum of our national monuments.

The anti-civilian military guard on such a memorial to freedom appears to be a desperate attempt to make the statue of Jefferson begin to cry blood. Of course, Fox News is ready to spin the tears of blood to represent Jefferson’s disdain for dancing, and sadness that such events are being created by Liberty thieves.

The fact of the matter is that the Great Collective just wants to dance. Unless the machine gunners stand guard every single day, the Great Collective will get what it wants.

Jefferson Memorial is only accessible by a long walk, and this may prevent maximum dancing. The author of this article would like to suggest the area in front of the Capitol building for dancing. He has found that banjo playing is grudgingly tolerated by police.

The Meta-Troll

A rudimentary meta-troll from 4chan containing a list of exploits.

The meta troll fails when the meta troll succeeds. The meta troll succeeds when the meta troll fails. The meta troll can never succeed and never fail.
A meta troll turns others into trolls by trolling. Trollin’ is cool. Meta trolls be trollin’, turning millions of other people into trolls.

Meta troll goes like this:

  • Trolls a pit of trolls
  • Troll reveals trolling exploit through troll
  • Trolls will troll each other until trolling no longer is trollin’

The meta troll can destabilize a community with the proper vectors if they are trollin’. When you troll the troll, but do not lead the troll to also troll, you are not a meta troll. Anyone who disagrees is often times considered a troll, but this is not trollin’. A meta troll is always someone who disagrees. A meta troll will rewire the brain without the brain being conscious. Meta trolls may still have a conscience in some cases. They most often do not, and are paid high salaries by trolling organizations like Fox News.

The meta troll is invincible to trolling when the meta troll has reached trollightenment. The trollightened meta troll doesn’t write the best trolls. The trollightened meta troll knows that all the best trolls have already been written, and that more sneakiness is required. The great meta troll feels the world twisting around each troll. Successful trolls shift reality and then shatter it, once the victims have realized how hard they’ve been trolled.

So when troll trolls you into a trollin’ mess, you can always meta troll your way to trolligtenment and you’ve worked your way out of the troll. Troll hard, troll weak, troll like a shotgun, troll like a trooper, and one day you too may be trollin’. That’s trollin’, bro.

MING MING – murder of the most artful


how to dress well, neon indian comes out on Lefse, June 28th
till then there’s always Myspace

Political Fail Blog: THE MONEY MACHINE

Merchandising for liberty – what could be a noble cause – has become something beyond disgusting at the Political Fail Blog. Matt Gratz has never written an article, and created a “blog” with the most piss-poor graphic design on the entire internet. He’s obviously raking in the dough, since he can afford to advertise his shitty Anonymous-derived merchandise on Facebook.

The Political Fail Blog is not a blog. Nearly all the material is republished in a thinly veiled attempt to drum up traffic.

It appears that a small group of writers have actually pumped out a whopping twenty original pieces for this “blog,” the bulk of which are xenophobic rants about the dangers of flouride, aliens, obesity, and the illnesses that are hiding in your food. Who gives a fuck?!? I’d bet anything Matt Gratz doesn’t pay his writers a dime. It’s one thing to spam your own shitty writing to AnonNews like we do here at the Chronicle, but another to use it to make a buck on the writing of others. Good luck with that, fuckwad!

Editor’s Note: republished one (or more) chronicle.SU pieces and even though they followed the exact same ad-traffic formula as the political fail blog, we did not give a fuck.

We came out today only because the political fail blog is so full of fail.


Hacker leak: most politicians rely on computer algorithm

Today, an unknown group of hackers released documents proving that Barack Obama and 97 senators were in fact using a complex algorithm to create their decisions and talking points. The software, known as ShadowMindGear, is also available as an App from the secret Washington Insider iPhone store.  The news has come as a huge surprise to everyone who thought that politicians were honest people who didn’t ever abuse their power. While it is not clear whether ShadowMindGear is actually sentient, the hackers have proposed that politicians are, in fact, no longer relying on their own intelligence.

“They’re just a face, given a particular platform by an unthinking machine that is playing with statistics. What manipulation is actually being done, ultimately, is unclear. We will never really know the depths of ShadowMindGear, and it’s so new that legality isn’t an issue yet.” ~Anonymous

This anonymous hacker informed us that politicians consult with their smartphones constantly, up to 10,000 times per day, to receive updates on strategy and talking points. Luckily, he added, brain cancer rates are most definitely up among users of mobile devices.

While our readers are left to wonder why this story hasn’t received wider circulation, some have speculated that ShadowMindGear has infected the fourth estate. Journalists, now relying on ShadowMindGear, are censored from the findings.

ShadowMindGear was purportedly created for Fox Broadcasting by a well-known internet security contractor. All Fox News broadcasts pass through a mainframe that adds a heavy dose of xenophobia, which is then relayed directly to the politicians via smartphones so that the fear can be optimally exploited. ShadowMindGear decided when to kill Osama and even played a major role in locating him. Our editors would like to remind readers that it is not yet clear whether ShadowMindGear is in fact sentient or not. It is, however, destroying your world.

Editor’s note: these opinions are only a reflection of the mind of ShadowMindGear and do not represent Chronicle.SU or Lebal Drocer.

Tupac Lives! Biggie Lives! Osama Lives! Alrart Lives!

CHRISTCHURCH-News sources reported that LulzBoat has defaced PBS. This act was intended to mock PBS and plug their own Twitter feed. PBS has faced the loss of public funding and may now be referred to simply as BS.

A piece of fiction claiming Tupac is alive and well was placed on PBS in an attempt by “LulzSec” to outdo the Chronicle at spamming satire to large audiences. The piece is quoted here in its entirety:

“Prominent rapper Tupac has been found alive and well in a small resort in New Zealand, locals report. The small town – unnamed due to security risks – allegedly housed Tupac and Biggie Smalls (another rapper) for several years. One local, David File, recently passed away, leaving evidence and reports of Tupac’s visit in a diary, which he requested be shipped to his family in the United States.”

The unnamed town in this story is Christchurch, which was recently shaken by a deadly earthquake. Along with Biggie and Tupac, Osama Bin Laden was recently seen in Christchurch, planning false flag attacks even while retired. will never die

Chronicle reporters have received testimony from our contacts in Christchurch that Biggie, Tupac, and Osama have stepped through the first Rowntree Free-Energy Stargate, invented by Alistair Rowntree, who passed through late last year into the great unknown. With him went, of which little is left except a small command post created with the aid of Lebal Drocer’s Elf Wax Times. Our sources have been working night and day to restore to its former glory.

While the startling homage to Chronicle.SU from LulzBoat is quite welcome, our writers have suggested spamming more subversive and well-written material in the future. The world is left to wonder: is LulzBoat really Anonymous? Will Alrart, Biggie, Tupac, or Osama ever return? Stay tuned in to Chronicle.SU!