Joseph Kony killed by crowd-funded assassins

Joseph Kony is now dead, but assassins sent by the itnernet say killing him "felt wrong."

Joseph Kony is now dead, but assassins sent by the Internet say killing him “felt wrong.”

INTERNET — Joseph Kony, famed general of genocidal child armies and Internet super villain, was hunted down and killed by a team of assassins who funded their mission with crowd-sourcing after an anti-Kony video went viral last year. However, the team of killers have expressed mixed feelings and even regret at carrying out the Internet’s mission of ruthless vengeance.

After the anti-Kony video, Kony 2012, became the most viral video ever, many concerns were raised about its accuracy. Skeptics quickly debunked the claim that Kony was still roving Africa with murderous child armies. Now, some are questioning the one dimensional and inhuman portrait of Kony which stands in stark contrast with reports of assassins who spoke with the aging and defenseless Kony before acting out the Internet’s lucrative vengeance. One assassin, who wished to remain Anonymous, said the kill team found Kony living in quiet retirement, and said, “His exile was mostly self-imposed. He could have continued his raping and pillaging, but he was repentant. We found him living the life of a religious ascetic, and he gladly allowed us to kill him, fully understanding his death would not atone for the great atrocities of his life. He fixed us dinner, and we had thoughts of sparing him, but we all knew that the Internet would send a kill team for us, if word were to get out that we spared Kony.”

6 comments to Joseph Kony killed by crowd-funded assassins

  • Yeah backs out number whites? Are you serious? You’re the racist you piece of shit. Your just jealous cuz white people can comb they’re hair. Bitch

  • Anonymous

    The Internet would send assassins… The Internet?!? This piece is complete bullshit.

  • Anonymous

    Regardless of the colour of skin people kill people and the only person to blame is those who make the decision to kill. And just so people out there know if the blacks were to unite. White people are by far out numbered so stop with the racism before you start making us feel hatred. We are all equals

  • Black-Prudly-kill-Da-Whitey

    Whites killed 10 billions of people since 1500 and stoled 100000000 billions since that date. Brothers, stand up and kill the whitey, they’re destroying our mother Hearth

  • А́нна Васи́льевна Кущенко

    The only good nigger, is a dead nigger!