Gamer retires from life as time consuming Diablo III career takes off

Diablo III

Jim Hannahan, pictured during his last known public appearance, smiles comfortably just outside the wretched clutches of a long and rewarding Diablo III career.

Roanoke, Va.– 28-year-old Kroger clerk Jim Hannahan stopped going into work when he realized being a cashier at the supermarket was not only beneath a level 60 Legendary . . .

Diablo III – It’s prettay prettay prettay prettay . . . good

Diablo III

The American gaming male automatically degenerated into an alternating cycle of hardcore gaming and furious, repeated bouts of masturbation Tuesday after Mother Blizzard released her tepid seed into the yawning, fertile womb of jilted fantasy gamers who have already seen enough WoW expansions to make General Patreus reconsider an extensive Iraq strategy.

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Armageddon on our heels (and that’s just fine)

A documentary visualization of Peace by The Elf Wax Times . . .