Va. Lawmaker to Introduce Archaic Amendment to ‘Back-up Execution’ Legislation

We used electric chairs when pictures looked like this.

Troubadour, who is also a historian, said that although there was no death penalty before 1976, “it was still better to die back then.” “And what we did back then” he said, “was torture them with true stories about Richard Nixon.” . . .

Police with Stun Batons Calm 3,000 Selfish Nike Workers Seeking “Fair Pay”

Underpaid Labor - Just Do It

Indignant Nike laborers selfishly demanded $88 monthly wage, like it even costs that much to live on a pile of dirt. The police had an answer for that. . . .

CAPITALISM TO ENSLAVE MANKIND BY 2012

America.com

President Mitt Romney attacked his family on live television Sunday during afternoon prayer . . .

What the fuck is this!?

So today I signed onto Chronicle.SU and saw fucking porn ADS popping up all over the place. What the shit has this place become?

Just a couple of days ago I read a really great article and I thought Chronicle was finally making . . .

Jesus was a Capitalist

RARE FACT: Jesus hated socialism! . . .

The Superions

In a far away galaxy there was a small planet orbiting a small star. The planet was inhabited by a very successful creature that considered itself so intelligent as to be above all other life forms. They called themselves the Superions. The Superions had been able to harness fire for a very long time and . . .

The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…

This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. . . .

China pirates self

In an astonishing blow to the country’s economy, China has managed to duplicate itself in the Communist state’s most recent piracy spree.

China(2), as experts are now calling it, will be placed on the country’s Desktop until room can be made in the State External Hard Drive (Taiwan). However, . . .

Internet Reaches Pandemic Status

The uncontrolled flow of information in the form of music, video, text, and images has crossed the threshold of our leadership’s tolerance. Government officials have declared an end to the Internet, and computers altogether. President Crystal Palin made a statement this evening at a hostile press conference in the White House. “The Internet has devalued . . .

News no longer newsworthy

This stack of newspapers has hardly been touched

Stay tuned for the following rant

Washington, D.C.–Just as protesters marched on the nation’s capitol to keep pressure on the new president’s foreign policy, war policy, and end worldwide occupations Saturday, the Obama administration is ramping up for a new war on Iran.

In an expected . . .