New Miracle breakthrough drug containing dead baby flesh “adds years” to your sex life

Baby Dust Lotion ad

Seoul – South Korean smugglers caught trafficking millions of pills containing human flesh charged with copyright violations of Lebal Drocer product. …MOAR!

Houston Rockets’ Yao Ming Retires, Like a Quitter, from Basketball

Yao Ming clearly does not give a fuck

Yao Ming just couldn’t commit to the sport of basketball, bringing shame on his family’s name. Deep shame. …MOAR!

Last Remains of Peace Scattered

Gandhi’s ashes have been swept into the sea. Now the rest of India and Pakistan prepare for the same immediate fate, as peace crumbles worldwide. …MOAR!

Internet addiction ‘doubles teen self harm’

China has conducted a very unbiased survey of a small group of Communism-loving teenagers who find themselves victimized by the Internet. …MOAR!

Pirates awash with Windows 7 theft orgy

Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards! …MOAR!

Modern Warfare 2: “If this is war, I wanna be there!”

Is slaughtering innocents enough to help us win the fight against Terror? You decide, on level three. …MOAR!

The End Times They Are A-Comin’

The world bank has collapsed and the Taliban hold your children hostage for ransom you don’t have. Chem-trails! …MOAR!

Social networking sites lead to ‘pregnancy and marriage by age 23′

Mediocrity

MyPlace and Fakebook are responsible for up to sixty five percent of unwanted, accidental long-term relationships. …MOAR!

China pirates self

In an astonishing blow to the country’s economy, China has managed to duplicate itself in the Communist state’s most recent piracy spree.

China(2), as experts are now calling it, will be placed on the country’s Desktop until room can be made in the State External Hard Drive …MOAR!

ELF ONLINE: TAKE THE MONEY AND FUN

Guangdong, Cn.–Unpopular Chinese gaming company HappyMMO has swindled roughly twenty-five gamers out of their American money in a bid to relieve personal economic hardships abroad using a “game” known as Elf Online, an MMORPG in which people get together, set up shops, and do quests with each other …MOAR!