Topiary Awaits Hearing as Speculation Mounts Hilariously

Ryan Cleary in Court

Uglyman Ryan Cleary exits the courtroom where lulz took place

Every tech nerd, geek and new owner of adult novelties are glued the their news feeds, all asking the same thing: Will Topiary, hailing from the island of Yell, be a hot hipster or a nasty, ugly nerd like Ryan? Most likely, . . .

Area man loses mind

Has the gubment taken your pension? Is the man keeping you down? Look no further than the government to get you back on your feet. . . .