Questions Silenced Over Russia Plane Crash

Russian authorities are calling it a “meteorite” dismissing eyewitness reports that described seeing a large fighter plane crash in the sky. . . .

Elf Wax Is Healing

The Elf Wax Times was really fucked up. . . .

Comet Lands Safely, Kills 1

WILMINGTON, NC — In a stunning and completely untragic turn of events today, Comet Lunin, approaching it’s closest distance from the Earth’s surface, has unexpectedly landed unharmed in a local suburban backyard. Authorities were quick to the scene but even quicker to leave upon learning of the comet’s well-being. . . .