The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. …MOAR!
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By  Frank Mason, on September 11th, 2009% 5 comments  Editorial  billy mays, bo diddly, bush, change, cheney, concision, congress, craigslist, drunk, elf wax times, freedom, freepress, gays, government, hillary clinton, homosexuals, hope, hypocrites, internet, jane fonda, journalism, lesbians, lies, logic, mccain, media, media mogul, meet the press, military, News, noam chomsky, obama, objectivity, politicians, rage against the machine, reason, rolling stones, rush limbaugh, terrorism, the doors, truth, TV, Uncontrollable Patriotism, weenus, writer By Frank Mason, on August 31st, 2009%The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on July 27th, 2009%Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on May 31st, 2009%Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I …MOAR! |
 
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