The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success

The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is! . . .

ELF ONLINE: TAKE THE MONEY AND FUN

Guangdong, Cn.–Unpopular Chinese gaming company HappyMMO has swindled roughly twenty-five gamers out of their American money in a bid to relieve personal economic hardships abroad using a “game” known as Elf Online, an MMORPG in which people get together, set up shops, and do quests with each other while . . .

AREA PESSIMIST SPEAKS OUT AGAINST MAIN MAN, CANDY LAND

More on this story as it develops.

Chesus

Another cinematic gem brought to you by Lebal Drocer Inc.

eLF wAx

Horrible New Street Drug Craze

Please do not try, all you children, adults, and geezers.

Oh yeah, and noise by elf wax.