Comet Lands Safely, Kills 1

WILMINGTON, NC — In a stunning and completely untragic turn of events today, Comet Lunin, approaching it’s closest distance from the Earth’s surface, has unexpectedly landed unharmed in a local suburban backyard. Authorities were quick to the scene but even quicker to leave upon learning of the comet’s well-being. . . .

Toka Cola- BLAZE ON!

Get Blazed! Denny Blazin’ Hazin’ Average Homeboy recommends Toka-Cola because “IT GETS YOU BLAZED!”

“Now I’m not the typical rapper that you’ll see. I gotta have my toka cola and I want it free. So here I am layin it down, I hope my rapping doesn’t make you frown!”

-Denny . . .