Categories
Hate Politics

Paul Ryan washes dishes at Ohio soup kitchen and hurries out

Paul Ryan meets free black man
Paul Ryan seen addressing a free black man.

After an embarrassingly forced visit to a soup kitchen, Paul Ryan failed to accrue more votes for himself and aspiring war criminal Mitt Romney.

On his way out, Ryan encountered a free black man. Ryan then demanded the Uncle Tom’s name, but refused to stop and talk with him.

Bill Murray is also known for “crashing parties” by showing up to wash random homeowners’ dishes, but Paul Ryan has found that a demeaning tone, paired with not actually washing any dishes, goes over just as well as he doesn’t care that day about anything going on around him.

“I’m Paul Ryan. Glad to meet you.”

“Glad to meet you too.”

Born and raised here, are you really? Cool. I’m from a town, similar, called Weansley.

Similar to what?

Ryan walks away while the man was still talking to him.

No trespassing.
Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism

US GOVERNMENT detaining anyone who calls them fascist

Accusatory reporters are being arrested to prove how fascist the government is not becoming
[Terrorist] arrested after criticizing [wonderful] things America is doing to [protect our freedom].

Washington– An executive decision passed down by United States President Barack Hussein Obama ordered the arrest of blog owners and activists who insist fascism is creeping in.

Widespread criticism of the Obama Administration appeared after the extrajudicial killing of Anwar al-Awlaki, an American citizen in Yemen, and Obama’s decision to indefinitely detain American citizens thought to be in support of terrorist organizations such as the Taliban, chronicle.su, and Al Qaeda.

Chronicle.su political analysts believe the Presidency is nothing more than a facade to conceal the evils of unchecked corporate oligarchy. Mike Levitz, Lead Social Engineer behind chronicle.su, said because there is no social responsibility to match the ravenous spread of currency into politics, “America’s just resorting to fascism.”

In response, President Obama reportedly announced, “I’ll show them what fascism is.”

American organizations such as chronicle.su are being infiltrated by social engineers the likes of which Ronald Reagan and all his malls, and all their security guards could never imagine. Secret agents are sent out to determine the exact means by which they can classify undesirable entities, like Wikileaks or chronicle.su, as “terrorist” in the hopes of coercing Google to erase their appearances among search results.

Chronicle Lead Expert on nothing-in-particular Marty Collins disappeared with agents in dark suits Friday afternoon and failed to report back in Monday. He is presumed dead, or worse.

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They will never take us alive.
Categories
News

Tea Party Nation exercises fascist control of information

Tea Party Nation was recently raided by Anonymous and thousands of Tea Party Cultists found themselves viewing NSFW porn and gore. Since then, their “Forum,” which actually consists entirely of threads by Judson Phillips, has clamped down on the free expression of outsiders.

Listed specifically as satire and entirely relevant to the conversation, links to Chronicle.SU led to the banning of Kilgore Trout from Tea Party Nation’s fascist forum. No abuse took place on the part of Trout.

Free Speech is not one of the platforms of the Tea Party. The Tea Party has been known to side with Chronicle.SU in criticizing the Left’s attacks on free speech, but their anti-satire stance has rewarded Tea Party Nation moderators with the honorary title of Hypocrites.

The Tea Party Nation’s behavior is nothing short of Fascism. Invoking the threat of Anonymous was all it took for the moderators to seize complete control over all ideas that are put forth on their “Forum.” The fact that nearly 99% of threads are written by the founder of Tea Party Nation speaks for itself~Kilgore Trout