I’d like to sext you up

There are little girls who trail behind mommy or daddy through Anytown, USA, staring down into their twiddling hands at what is without fail – and without question – a cell phone. …MOAR!

Stoner realizes speed of Earth’s movement through space, blows mind

A Cave Spring-area youth was high on marijuana today when he realized that time does not exist and therefore [...] …MOAR!

FBI DIRECTOR WINS WAR ON DRUGS

Washington, D.C.– In a harrowing defense of marijuana’s ongoing criminal status, FBI Director Robert Mueller successfully lumped marijuana in with all drugs. Dopes on the list include meth, heroin, oxycontin, crack and cocaine, but not alcohol, during a debate with Steve Cohen (D-TN). “Alcohol,” he said, “is …MOAR!