Facebook drinking at an all-time high

Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score. . . .

Report: Dan K. Back in Town

YOURTOWN, US–After a recent independent investigation, it has come to our attention here at the Times that Dan K., a known pal to many locals, has indeed returned to the area.

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Hatt Baby!

ENJOY, N00BZ.

Dick Means Business

Silly Mahmoud should know we are the only country allowed to have nukes.