Anti-hate protest results in ‘no additional love’

The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices. . . .

Elf Wax Times announces anti-lesbian platform

The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. . . .