“I am God and I hate faggots like Fred Phelps.” . . .
For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything. . . .
Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google? . . .
The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is! . . .
In the aftermath of the scientific discovery that there is no god and that all is merely as Science explains, Pope Benedict has abdicated his position and liquidated all church assets and given them to the poor. Poverty in Europe has been ended. The middle-east has exploded into a non-stop frenzy of orgies and crime . . .
Shirley Phelps-Roper: Well, the lord Jesus Christ told us what it was going to look like when the last days came, when it was time for his return, through the clouds, in a flame of fire, with the shouts and the voice of the Archangel, and the trump of God to execute judgment on this . . .