SWINE FLU FOUND IN CATS

THE CDC HAS ISSUED A PUBLIC HEALTH ALERT FOLLOWING DISCOVERY OF A SWINE FLU STRAIN THAT MUTATES ONCE INSIDE DOMESTICATED CATS . . .

President Obama contracts swine flu

Washington, D.C.–Due to coming into close physical contact with government pigs in Washington, U.S. President Barack Hussein Obama has been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus, popularly known as swine flu, following a doctor visit Friday.

Noticeable symptoms include tiredness of the eyes, a glazed “thousand-yard-stare” and the onset of . . .