Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity. “This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron. . . .
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By  Frank Mason, on March 27th, 2010%By chronicle.SU, on March 19th, 2010%Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . . By Frank Mason, on March 10th, 2010%The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices. . . . By Frank Mason, on December 8th, 2009%Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different. . . . By Frank Mason, on November 24th, 2009%Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google? . . . By Frank Mason, on November 22nd, 2009%Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help? . . . By Frank Mason, on November 20th, 2009%This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. . . .  Leave a comment  Special Interest  advertising, billywalshe, capitalism, college, elf wax times, everquest, fuck the police, george ouzanian, hate, internet, jaded, lotr, maddox, oral graham, party patrol, phone number, police, radio, richmond, roanoke, sell-out, Status Quo, success, TV, USA, virginia, whores By Hateful Man, on November 9th, 2009%The Elf Wax Times toils into the wee hours of the morning to bring you part one in an unlimited-part series: VOTE DOWN THE INTERNET, HAIL THE ELF WAX TIMES . . . By Frank Mason, on October 13th, 2009%Mayor Dwight C. Jones allegedly took part in an illegal child-fighting ring that Elf Wax speculates has connections to football God Michael Vick. . . . By Frank Mason, on October 2nd, 2009%A documentary visualization of Peace by The Elf Wax Times . . . |
 
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