Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity. “This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron. . . .
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Lebal Drocer unleashes a new product on humanity. “This time it’s legal,” says spokesman Jeffrey Winebergeron. . . . Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . . The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices. . . . Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different. . . . Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google? . . . Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help? . . . This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. . . . The Elf Wax Times toils into the wee hours of the morning to bring you part one in an unlimited-part series: VOTE DOWN THE INTERNET, HAIL THE ELF WAX TIMES . . . Mayor Dwight C. Jones allegedly took part in an illegal child-fighting ring that Elf Wax speculates has connections to football God Michael Vick. . . . A documentary visualization of Peace by The Elf Wax Times . . . |
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