DENVER, COLO. — Americans were excited today about reports deep within the bowels of the Romney campaign that the former Massachusetts governor is ready to go after President Obama’s use of marawana and cocaine as a teenager.
“I mean, this is a guy who admitted to cocaine use,” says a Romney adviser to Buzzfeed, “had . . .
You elected a two-dollar whore and got mad ’cause he blows like a porn star. Let’s talk about landing people on the asteroids. . . .
Got life? Try heroin! . . .
For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything. . . .
Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards! . . .
Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I . . .
Washington, D.C.– In a harrowing defense of marijuana’s ongoing criminal status, FBI Director Robert Mueller successfully lumped marijuana in with all drugs. Dopes on the list include meth, heroin, oxycontin, crack and cocaine, but not alcohol, during a debate with Steve Cohen (D-TN). “Alcohol,” he said, “is . . .
Just what it says. Get with the program.
New things are happening. Don’t use your real information. Don’t worry about me. What’s there will eventually be pushed into obscurity. I will delete this article once it finds a happy position on the front page.
And once hosting is . . .