FBI “head” Robert Mueller is requesting MOAR information from ISPs to aid in his quest for precious SAUCE or possibly get into human trafficking. …MOAR!
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By  Frank Mason, on February 7th, 2010%By Frank Mason, on December 23rd, 2009%China has conducted a very unbiased survey of a small group of Communism-loving teenagers who find themselves victimized by the Internet. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on November 28th, 2009%Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards! …MOAR!  6 comments  Technology  bill gates, bit torrent, blog, bob dylan, china, dicks, download, enzyte, fury, help computer, heroin, hollywood, internet, lol, lou reed, Marijuana, microsoft, miley cyrus, orgy, pc, pepsi, sex, software, stop all the downloading, tits, vista, windows 7, xp By Frank Mason, on November 20th, 2009%This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. …MOAR! Leave a comment Special Interest advertising, billywalshe, capitalism, college, elf wax times, everquest, fuck the police, george ouzanian, hate, internet, jaded, lotr, maddox, oral graham, party patrol, phone number, police, radio, richmond, roanoke, sell-out, Status Quo, success, TV, USA, virginia, whores By Frank Mason, on September 11th, 2009%The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. …MOAR! 5 comments Editorial billy mays, bo diddly, bush, change, cheney, concision, congress, craigslist, drunk, elf wax times, freedom, freepress, gays, government, hillary clinton, homosexuals, hope, hypocrites, internet, jane fonda, journalism, lesbians, lies, logic, mccain, media, media mogul, meet the press, military, News, noam chomsky, obama, objectivity, politicians, rage against the machine, reason, rolling stones, rush limbaugh, terrorism, the doors, truth, TV, Uncontrollable Patriotism, weenus, writer By Frank Mason, on August 31st, 2009%The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on August 25th, 2009%There are little girls who trail behind mommy or daddy through Anytown, USA, staring down into their twiddling hands at what is without fail – and without question – a cell phone. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on June 5th, 2009%Guangdong, Cn.–Unpopular Chinese gaming company HappyMMO has swindled roughly twenty-five gamers out of their American money in a bid to relieve personal economic hardships abroad using a “game” known as Elf Online, an MMORPG in which people get together, set up shops, and do quests with each other …MOAR! One comment Entertainment, Society, World architecture, china, chinese, elf, elf online, elf wax, elves, forum, game, happymmo, internet, mmorpg, money, online, scam By Frank Mason, on May 31st, 2009%Roanoke, Va.–This girl I liked when we were in ninth grade was really cute and had pretty green eyes. I told her one day as we were walking to the buses and she said ‘thank you.’ I never thought another thing of it because chasing tail, I …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on April 20th, 2009%Roanoke, Va.–The popularly abused text-to-voice communications system AT&T designed to allow deaf or mute people to talk via telephone has scandalously resurfaced. People who are either too poor or too lazy to keep up with a monthly phone bill also find the sit-on-your-ass-and-type convenience appealing. However, the internet took a turn for the worst today …MOAR! |
 
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