UNIVERSE THREATENED BY NONEXISTENCE

computer simulation of the universe

Donate bitcoins to chronicle.su and reserve your place TODAY among a newly rearranged, inverted cosmos of mathematical novelty . . .

Area Christian Too Cool For The Devil

Ferry Johnson, Christian

“You can’t hold onto hate. I used to hate my abusers for what they did to me, and I hated people who took me away from God. But now I don’t hate anything, except for terrorists, really. And Islam.” . . .

Jesus was a Capitalist

RARE FACT: Jesus hated socialism! . . .

Chronicle.SU LIES!

Today’s news comes as no surprise at all, you fucking spineless bastards! . . .

Obama Meets Terrorist Demands

Obama institutes Muslim Christmas, an official U.S. Holiday that is not to be reckoned with. War on Terror is ‘over’ – terror decidedly winner. . . .

The Elf Wax Times Boasts Monumental Success

The Elf Wax Times has exploded onto your computer screen like a poorly-timed orgasm. Read more to find out how literal this disgusting metaphor really is! . . .

Jesus resurrected for Nazi Zombies 2

As it was foretold in the final book of Daniel, Jesus Christ has once again arisen to appear in Treyarch’s Nazi Zombies! . . .

Intelligent Design to End Life on Earth

Scientists have invented Life 2.0, and it’s going to kill you! . . .

Religion 101

There is nothing wrong with religion. I have no problem with religion. Religious people, on the other hand, are a different story.

Why can’t someone go to church, rejoice, pray, go home, and keep their beliefs to themselves?

Why can’t religious people simply enjoy their religion, without trying to force it on other people, or . . .

Black hole unlocks quantum secret to cosmos, accretes Earth

This evening, a black hole instantly spawned inside our solar system. The event occurred so suddenly that scientists have not been able to determine its preconditions, but more presently, they are concerned with how humanity will go about tackling this catastrophic phenomenon of rapidly-impending doom. Two brave Elf Waxtronauts

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