IF YOU READ THIS YOU WILL LEARN HOW LIES ARE SPREAD, SUCH AS THOSE AROUND THE DEATH OF MICHAEL JACKSON AND A SIMILAR RUMOR GOING AROUND THAT AKON IS STILL ALIVE.
SORRY, FOLKS BUT THE AFRICAN PRINCE IS DEAD. TIME TO LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE TO A NEW CULTURAL ICON.
Why is Michelle Bachmann offensive to lesbians? …MOAR!
Murder-Mom Casey Anthony goes to war against large-tittied Kim Kardashian, who said the gorgeous and camera-friendly Casey Anthony killed her own photogenic baby. We got your attention yet? Obama wants to go to war with Libya. …MOAR!
A story of domestic terrorism for the state, which we now control. …MOAR!
For the second time in a row, The Elf Wax Times picked up your slack because nobody is willing to stand up for fucking anything. …MOAR!
The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. …MOAR!
“When Miley Cyrus broke the sound barrier, we thought we’d seen everything. However, after punching through the Earth’s exosphere, the Disney Star approached escape velocity at 7 miles per second, then exploded brilliantly into a stream of atoms.“
Miley Cyrus, moments before reaching critical mass …MOAR!
Collegetown,USA—Very few classes teach us to ask questions.Quite the opposite, we are taught not to question, but to remember.But how does one learn without asking questions?What are we really being taught?
April’s Fool.Here you are, operating on the knowledge of those who died and lived …MOAR!