LinkedIn to merge with motherless.com

man fired for sickening addiction

“Destroying your own life has never been easier,” said Nottaway. “With the power of LinkedIn, users will soon be able to share their favorite surreptitious jailbait photographs with people they know in real life, at unprecedented profits to us.” . . .

MILEY CYRUS TURNS 18, n00ds coming soon

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Miley Cyrus turns 18 today, breaking purity vows made to the Status Quo. Will she turn into Brittany Spears, or some other celebrity slut? You decide. . . .

New Video Game Subverts Morality

cokefiend3

Parents beware. Your children are doing drugs inside their video games. The Soviet Chronicle goes nose deep into the world of cocaine video gaming and overdoses on the shit. . . .

Man Patiently Waits For JNCOs To Be Cool Again

Juggalo

One man’s tale of love of JNCOs, and JNCO culture. Juggalo is deep, almost as deep as deez pocketz. /////////WORD . . .

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Miley Cyrus advertises using sexting

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .

ELF WAX TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

The Elf Wax Times’ team of political analysts project that the publication’s platform of drug use, videogames and name-calling will be all the evidence voters need to make the right decision in 2012. . . .

Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research

Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine. . . .

Miley Cyrus Upskirts For All.

Miley and her incestuous pimp offer a fresh take on an old sin, and discuss the benefdangers of sexting. . . .

Google Googles self, search feature ‘disabled until further notice’

google

Google collapsed under the weight of its own self-searching, a glitch that has cost many their lives. Why, God, why? . . .

STAY INDOORS! DEADLY GEMINID METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT

Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath. . . .