IRAN STATE MEDIA: Barack Obama killed Aaron Swartz

WASHINGTON – A full 16 hours before an Internet Chronicle writer would issue his dire, satirical indictment of unnamed conspirators for the murder of Aaron Swartz, Iranian state media was already on the case, hinting early Eastern time Sunday morning the Internet activist’s opposition to President Barack Obama’s kill-list targeted assassination …MOAR!

BATTLEFIELD 3 TEACHES KIDS IMPORTANT SKILL OF COMBAT COMMUNICATION

Battlefield 3

BATTLEFIELD 3 TRIGGERS THE MOST REALISTIC WAR FLASHBACKS OUT OF ANY OTHER GAME ON PS3 …MOAR!

Saudi Embassy: Bandar bin Sultan Is Not Dead

WASHINGTON – A public affairs official at the Saudi embassy in the United States informs The Internet Chronicle that Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi Arabian intelligence chief, is not dead.

On July 29 French journalist Thierry Meyssan’s Voltaire Network reported, “Though not yet announced by the Saudi authorities, the death of Prince …MOAR!

Man claims four lives amid chilling case of the Mondays

Police respond to brutal office slayings

SlavTech Enterprises office worker Harold Strafford opened fire on his colleagues Wednesday after contracting an unseasonable case of the Mondays. …MOAR!

Chuck Whitman Chronicle Show

Charles Whitman

THIS EXPLOSIVE NEW REALITY SERIES ON FOX PROVES TO DETERIORATE MORALITY AND CORRUPT IDEOLOGY IN A WAY NEVER BEFORE THOUGHT POSSIBLE – UNTIL NOW. …MOAR!

Why I can’t do Facebook

facebooker

Elf Wax columnist and internet rapist Al Stephenson delivers a biting review of the social networking fucksite, Facebook. …MOAR!

Elderly woman dies ‘on hold’ with Verizon

Verizon plays a deadly hand in the demise of a beloved family member who simply could not handle all the sexting. …MOAR!

Nancy Grace Guilty in Caylee Murder

All eyes are on the most stunning news story of the entire century. Caylee will be avenged. …MOAR!

Area Man Fatally Bludgeoned With Baseball Bat

CAHULAWASSEE, GA — A local man was found fatally wounded today after an apparent bludgeoning. The victim, whose name remains unreleased until the notification of kin, was found dead and freshly buried in the ground, wrapped in a blue tarp. Not much is known of the victim at the time …MOAR!