Final Shuttle Launch Signifies Total Apathy Toward Human Progress

final-launch

This article can be safely ignored, because it is about the space shuttle which is now irrelevant. Not like that makes a difference to you, though, because you never cared in the first place. …MOAR!

Space station gets new “chill room”

The International Space Station has docked it’s latest module, complete with every modern convenience. …MOAR!

Failing failures and the failure that fails them

The money you spend on tacos and Wal-Mart trash pays for genocide overseas. Your brain is committing suicide. You are generally worthless and we don’t like you reading Elf Wax. …MOAR!

Comet Lands Safely, Kills 1

WILMINGTON, NC — In a stunning and completely untragic turn of events today, Comet Lunin, approaching it’s closest distance from the Earth’s surface, has unexpectedly landed unharmed in a local suburban backyard. Authorities were quick to the scene but even quicker to leave upon learning of the …MOAR!