U.S. SPECIAL FORCES ON LIBYA: “WE’RE GOING IN.”

libya-kicker

Barack Obama, Defense Secretary Robert Gates – and the entire government, for that matter – are lying, murderous cocksuckers. . . .

The Only True Conspiracy Theory

America now sees what the businessmen who financed the Tea Party intended: Dressed in powdered wigs and wearing red makeup that is actually gore, the Tea Party is shoveling babies into the ocean with pitchforks. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is gagging Lady Liberty with her gigantic strap-on while trying to save face by praising Al-Jazeera and . . .

Chronicle.SU a Tremendous Success

Julian Assange

A story of domestic terrorism for the state, which we now control. . . .

New Video Game Subverts Morality

cokefiend3

Parents beware. Your children are doing drugs inside their video games. The Soviet Chronicle goes nose deep into the world of cocaine video gaming and overdoses on the shit. . . .

Man Patiently Waits For JNCOs To Be Cool Again

Juggalo

One man’s tale of love of JNCOs, and JNCO culture. Juggalo is deep, almost as deep as deez pocketz. /////////WORD . . .

ELF WAX TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

The Elf Wax Times’ team of political analysts project that the publication’s platform of drug use, videogames and name-calling will be all the evidence voters need to make the right decision in 2012. . . .

VOTING DOES NOT MATTER

There are many people who will say I am the ignorant one, to encourage voter apathy. To that, I say: I encourage voting; only with guns. . . .

NEW MANDATE: Guns for the Blind

A group of people once discriminated against by gun traders are now required by law to carry a sidearm. . . .

Elf Wax Times: Demographic Research

Elf Wax Times offers anecdotal evidence for the majority of its readership. Also, how to fuck a magazine. . . .

Protesters gear up to repress rowdy G-20 police

peace-police

Protesters gather in Toronto to reign in unruly police officers. They fight authority by getting punched in the face, arrested, and gassed, just by standing there. . . .