PROTEST IN D.C.

Anti-war protest takes off in Washington, D.C. Live coverage right here at Elf Wax – just for the hell of it. . . .

ANTI-WAR PROTEST IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Washington, D.C.–Tens of thousands of protesters are expected to gather in front of the White House to protest the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Elf Wax reports live from noon to six. . . .

Beware of Dawgs

Keep the Change. . . .

The Third World War on the Third World

NEW! MCMAFIA FROM MCDONALD’S, sold only in Italy. Read to find out what Sarah Palin’s hand has to say. Spoiler Alert: it’s not a handjob or else she wouldn’t have retarded children. . . .

Auto-tuned auto-tuning machine auto-tuned for the first time

T-Pain’s irresponsible use of what used to be known as “the Cher machine” has led to a breakdown of global economic politics hinging on the Panama Canal. . . .

Last Remains of Peace Scattered

Gandhi’s ashes have been swept into the sea. Now the rest of India and Pakistan prepare for the same immediate fate, as peace crumbles worldwide. . . .

Obama Meets Terrorist Demands

Obama institutes Muslim Christmas, an official U.S. Holiday that is not to be reckoned with. War on Terror is ‘over’ – terror decidedly winner. . . .

STAY INDOORS! DEADLY GEMINID METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT

Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath. . . .

Online Gamers Constitute 90 Percent of World’s Racists

Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help? . . .

Modern Warfare 2: “If this is war, I wanna be there!”

Is slaughtering innocents enough to help us win the fight against Terror? You decide, on level three. . . .