Scientists report Earth could die any day now

You and everyone you know will suffer and die in a terrible cataclysm! …MOAR!

Diet Advice from Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Hey, what’s up fellow Dudes! So totally check this new diet I’ve worked out for the modern man. I even did some math and stuff to make sure it’s completely healthy.

First thing’s first-drink a TON of energy drinks. The caffeine really kicks your metabolism up a notch! To cancel out all those nasty carbs make …MOAR!