To The Elf Wax Loyalist Party

We no longer love you, but that does not mean we stopped loving ourselves. You just weren’t ready. . . .

A land called the Soviet Union

I started with “jerk off into a cup” – a natural launching point.

Holy dicks, what fucking day is it? Is it time for another? Yes it is.

I spent the day dealing with some very friendly people about a very unfriendly bill that has been sent to collections by way of some unpaid tuition . . .