Amanda Bynes dead at 27, inventor of ‘lol’ signs off

NEW YORK — Fans mourn the loss of Nickelodeon starlet Amanda Laura Bynes, who died early Wednesday morning at her home in New York …MOAR!

IRAN STATE MEDIA: Barack Obama killed Aaron Swartz

WASHINGTON – A full 16 hours before an Internet Chronicle writer would issue his dire, satirical indictment of unnamed conspirators for the murder of Aaron Swartz, Iranian state media was already on the case, hinting early Eastern time Sunday morning the Internet activist’s opposition to President Barack Obama’s kill-list targeted assassination …MOAR!

‘The CPU is Not Made for This Motherboard:’ The Chicken-and-Egg Debate Over Bradley Manning’s Treatment

Pro-Manning Protesters Outside of Fort Meade Tuesday

WASHINGTON – Retired Colonel Dan Choike, the former commander of Marine Corps Base Quantico, at which Private Bradley Manning was held, took the stand Tuesday and shed more light on the public relations and mental health concerns surrounding the incarceration of the Army intelligence analyst …MOAR!

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Miley Cyrus advertises using sexting

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. …MOAR!

Hold yourself hostage

It’s as easy as BCC: Barricade, Concoct, Communicate.

Barricade:

Pile all of your furniture up against your front and back doors, along with any other additional entrances to your soon to be Alamo. Bust apart whatever furniture is left and cover the windows with spare wood and upholstery. Pile all scraps in the middle of …MOAR!