Under Armor Spokesman, @th3j35t3r Attacks North Korea
Under the moniker @th3j35t3r, a little-known Twitter account, Tom Ryan of Provide Security is currently gearing up for cyber war with North Korea, Anonymous in tow.
After a series of test runs against mom-and-pop DPRK websites, we see Tom Ryan, aka John Tiessen, as possessing the ability …MOAR!
John Tiessen repeatedly accused my favorite literary character, Kurt Vonnegut’s Kilgore Trout, of child molestation. Mr. Tiessen also made overt threats of physical violence and nuisance litigation (accompanied by veiled threats of violence in the courthouse) towards this fictional character, whom I love, so I made this video with Mr. Tiessen’s “greatest hits.”
FBI Confidential Informant: “We’re busy with other things, Chronicle, so here’s th3j35t3r.”
WASHINGTON — Tuesday morning The Internet Chronicle’s press release email list slowed to a crawl, as an internal FBI source said it wished to step forward and finger to the Washington Bureau neoconservative and militant zionist criminal hacker “th3j35t3r” once …MOAR!
WASHINGTON – Security professional Tom Ryan, in an interview with The Internet Chronicle, said that he was not in fact cybercriminal th3j35t3r, as he had been accused of being in much rumor and Twitter gossip, which Mr. Ryan said had largely been driven by Anonymous leader Barrett Brown. Mr. Brown, a self-avowed leader …MOAR!
Rick Astley’s public battle with child molestation accusations …MOAR!
Representative Dan Gordon's dog photos have been liberated. Transparency for all.
Lone-wolf astroturf hacktivist th3j35t3r recently placed a malicious QR code as his avatar. This image, once scanned by a smart phone, forwarded users to a web site designed to exploit a vulnerability in the Android operating system. Th3j35t3r gained backdoor …MOAR!
The biggest named hacker in the world right now used to endorse chronicle.su until we found out he’s working for the FBI. Then he decided he hates us. He wrote nasty stuff about us. Nobody believed us when we warned them he’s working with the government. About three days ago, news hit he is the biggest snitch in online criminal history. We were right, before anyone else was. …MOAR!
Everything the Jester was once known for has been taken away. He has been castrated by Apache developers, posted an embarrassing music video encompassing his feelings toward small children, and is now shitting himself in fear of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated. The wolves are closing in. …MOAR!
It’s your religious duty. …MOAR!
In th3j35t3r’s constant struggle against Jihadists, he has grown increasingly similar to his most hated enemies. By committing several terror attacks on 9/11, he has become more like Al-Qaeda than ever before. But is it going too far to call th3j35t3r’s attacks terrorism? As a recent victim of an attack by th3j35t3r, Chronicle.SU is of the opinion that th3j35t3r is indeed a terrorist. He was quick to publish our personal details in the hopes that it would scare us into submission. By this action alone, th3j35t3r definitely fits the most basic definition for terrorism. …MOAR!